So every once in awhile I like to do a post of the crap I share on Facebook. I like to use it as my stream of consciousness… which usually means it’s the stuff that my children will bring up in therapy years from now…
Here’s a few of my recent posts:
AUGUST 22: Best quote ever from my 4 yr daughter about her 2 yr old brother, “Mom, why is he so cranky? Is it because he has a penis?” She’s wise beyond her years.
AUGUST 24: Sometimes I believe that children have the answers to all life’s mysteries. My 4 yr old daughter asked why it is called a “wake” when people gather after someone’s death. I told her that I honestly didn’t know. Her reply, “Is it because they all hope the person will wake up?” Damn girl, you are so much smarter than that Ariel costume makes you look…
AUGUST 25: I’ve made a decision while watching the MTV Video Awards – I should be a rapper. I can wear black (it’s very sliming) and swing my hands in the air while I curse to a synthesizer. I got this sh!t.
AUGUST 26: So…I just found out what twerking was. Oh my. I’m pretty sure if I bent over like that my boobs would reach the ground farther than my hands could…
AUGUST 27: So you know how toddlers learning to talk say “f#ck” when they are trying to say “truck”? There is truly nothing funnier than your toddler having dropped his truck out of his crib and so he’s been yelling “f@ck mommy” for the past 20 minutes to try to get me to come pick it up….
AUGUST 29: It’s seriously inevitable. You go into the bathroom and lock the door. Then wait 5 seconds and you’ll start seeing finger tips under the door. I’m thinking of just leaving breakfast under that crack so I can stay in there a little longer and they won’t be able to talk with the food in their mouth. Hell, who am I kidding? Their mom is a New York Italian, they’ll still talk with food in their mouths…
