I’ve been neglectful of late … no not of my child, she’s the absolute center of my universe … not of my mother, she’s my rock and my support even as she faces serious surgery, not of my work, I’ve had many many many late nights beavering away and looking for new work … but of my writing…
particularly my writing here.
Not enough hours in the day, stretched and overstretched … the piles and piles of small clothes that need to be sorted and put away, the mountain of paperwork, the many shoeboxes full of receipts to sort, the thank you letters that remain unwritten, the update emails to Godparents that are months behind, the nutritious meals I was going to prepare, the dust, the new car seat that needs putting back together, the gray tired roots of my hair, the holes in my clothes … I’ve neglected alot and all of these things shout at me when I sit down at the computer … “me first”, “I’ve been waiting the longest”, “OY” … and so I’m distracted from my writing, from my writing here, and at Mothering in the Middle, and Huffington Post … maybe I’m in what’s known as a dry spell, a desert …
it’s not that I’ve got writer’s block, it’s the noise of the rest of my life dampening down my ability to put fingers to keyboard, to put my mind in gear.
She continues to inspire me, make me laugh, drive me to distraction, cause my heart to overflow with love with every minute I spend in her company … the joy when she masters a new skill (skipping with her hands on her hips, writing her name, making flower shapes on the floor with my business cards while I’m working on the computer, getting in and out of the bath by herself, catching a ball, going on the aerial runway on her own, not going over the lines when she coloured in a picture of the sun, reciting the whole of the Tiger That Came to Tea as I turn the page, singing Chatanooga Choo Choo, telling me “I’m not finished yet”, doing a poo on the potty or whooping with delight when she sees an earwig in the garden… so many glorious and wondrous achievements), and the exasperation when she asserts her two year old opinion in the manner of a cross tired two year old and lies on the floor or stands and clenches her fists and shouts, “BUT I WANT TO”, the peace of watching her sleep, the utter contentment on both of our parts when she breastfeeds … all of it is magical and a rich rewarding overwhelming blessing …
maybe I wonder at what to share now she’s getting older, she’s already started to tell her story … or maybe I’m just too tired to keep my mind in order.
So, in case you were wondering, or had even noticed I was missing, I’m not, I am still here and our journey is continuing on its wonderful winding way.
…and just wait until I tell you what else we’ve been up to… life is never dull!
Facebook has been easier to update lately, quick, easy, links to share and so on so if you really want to you could ‘like’ the page there or check in from time to time … http://www.facebook.com/mushbrainedramblings
Thanks as well for the many ‘where have you been?’ emails .. hugely appreciated.
