Diaries Magazine

Suspicions (warning - Contains Swearing...)

Posted on the 12 September 2017 by Ravenswingthog @ravenswingthog
Today's blog is focussed upon the bathroom.
First, I discovered when fumbling for the wrong bottle that the Harpic bleach has been located immediately next to the mouthwash - which I generally use at the start and end of each day, and, it is important to note, when I'm not wearing my glasses.

Suspicions (warning - contains swearing...)

I'm sure it's a coincidence how this happened about a week after I received my pension forecast, which included details of how much money my wife would receive if I died in service...


Secondly, I do like to offer something educational now and again.  I would like to offer forth the following new word, complete with definition:

Fuckin'Towel /ˈfʌkɪŋtaʊəl/

NOUN
1     A thick, soft and absorbent textile used for drying oneself which is not in the vicinity of the shower. The potential user only becomes aware of this when already in the shower.
Examples of usage: "I've got soap in my eyes! Where's the Fuckin'Towel?", or "I forgot to check before I got in the bloody shower... there's no Fuckin'Towel!"

Suspicions (warning - contains swearing...)

It's almost as though these posts are inspired by real life


(As an aside, why do we still say "I've got soap in my eyes" - does anyone still use soap in a shower/bath context? Shower gel is by far the most prominent body cleanser in our house, soap has been restricted to hands only)

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