Self Expression Magazine

Tears of Thanks…

Posted on the 11 November 2014 by Drowqueen @theburnedhand

So here’s the deal.  You don’t know me other than this blog, but I am the real deal.  Everything I say on here has happened…I decided to update the fan page with a photo of me so that people who have been following me for a long time can feel more connected.  I’ll never forget that day I told my girlfriend I had a secret…I wanted to write about the truth in my life.  She said go for it and the blog was born.  She was like my one fan for a long time.  But I didn’t know that others were really paying attention when I posted it to my Facebook page and that they didn’t know it was my blog.

When I finally admitted that the girl they knew long ago was in fact the girl with invisible diseases, many people were shocked.  Because I look “well”.  Anyway, as most of you know one disease led to another and I was trying to teach kids y’all.  I loved my job.  I did.  It was challenging and hard and scary at times, but I loved making a difference.  More than that, I loved giving things away.  I brought all my kids clothes in…including underwear.  Yes.  Because what you don’t know is that some of it was even brand new.  Why would I give other people’s children things like underwear?  Because they had none of their own.  And socks.  And warm things.  Anyway, it just makes me sad to think of it again.  I put clothes in backpacks because they had “accidents” and never asked for it returned.  Of course sometimes they didn’t have accidents.  I just wanted them to have things.

So I have been feeling like I am not making a difference being out of work this past ummm going on 2 years, to heal my body.  My beautiful friend with cancer understands because she was another teacher.  And when people ask us to do things, it’s hard to say no.  It’s extremely difficult to take care of us first.  Why in the world it is, I have no idea.  So a while back, I wrote a long letter thing to a certain blogger who is kind of awesome.  Her people read it.  They did.  And they sent me a reply.  They are interested in helping my friend.  I opened the e-mail and my eyes were leaking.  I responded and told my friend and we don’t know what will happen, but we just are so happy.  Real HAPPY.  Not even Fappy.

Because life shouldn’t be this hard.  We are all here to help one another…and I have this quote I like about that.  But also GIVING begets GIVING.  Like that part in the Bible where everyone uses the word begets.  It’s true.  I had extra produce because here is a secret.  A friend of mine thought of me for this one day a week job…and it fits my health.  I can rest after and I get fresh produce!!  OHHH and I get to blog about some recipes…even though I secretly don’t enjoy cooking.  So that part is hilarious.  Moving on.  BUT I had something to give back to people, so I went to a house that gives shelter to battered women and homeless women/children.  I gave them a whole box of produce that was mine.  Then I posted on my FB page I wanted to help if anyone knows someone needing produce…and lo and behold a teacher,ha, gotta love us, anyway needed to help a student.  So I zipped over and gave another box of produce.  Then someone else said they needed books and things, but they are out of state, so logistically I am figuring out postage…but I’ll get it done.

AND last but not least, THANK YOU reader.  You know who you are.  You found my Go Fund Me for my dachshund boy…I was thinking people thought he was too old to help.  But you didn’t.  And I can’t stop crying this morning.  You make me HAPPY.  So this was what I needed.  I miss giving to people.  And feeling needed.  You my friend I have never met, are awesome.

Helping handsStill love this quote.


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