I am grateful for my comin’ round the depression mountain
Or maybe I should say, I am grateful for depression and the lush stages it brings.
Are you crossing your eyes and thinking I’m nuts? More than likely. If I heard myself saying this a couple years ago I would have thought I was insane, too, pushed right over the edge actually.
Listen to me, though. When you think of all the important, highly productive, world changing people who had depression – something shifts in me. Does it in you? Look at this roster of fellow depressed people who came around their depression mountains: Beethoven, Charlotte Perkins Gilman, Buzz Aldrin, Sylvia Plath, Winston Churchill, Charles Dickens, Abraham Lincoln, Princess Diana and the list goes on and on.
I have said if I hadn’t experienced depression, I wouldn’t be as intimate with the beauty life offers me as well.
I remember when I was in denial of depression and walked around in a near coma state all the time. When I finally took it on and appreciated it, did therapy and medication mixed with self care, the fog lifted.
Some days and some times are better than others, but today when I walked into my house after dropping the kids and it smelled of a combination of baked apples, fresh chocolate chip cookies and bacon, I knew things were once again getting better.
Yes, I know there is the possibility of another surgery in January.
We’ll take it on. Everything IS going to be just fine. I reflect upon where I was last year compared to this year - and I just sit back in awe. Last year I was not having it easy, but looking back - I was very bad off emotionally. Sometimes in the muck and mire and continuing with the daily routines we don't notice.
But today, I noticed. I'm comin' around that depression mountain again. Next time I find myself moving up it, I'll recognize it sooner and play with it and allow it to play with me because I know it is there to help me and you, perhaps, in reading this all the way through.
And I am forever grateful for that.
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© 2012 by Julie Jordan Scott