I am so glad that I used to be really insecure. (key words: used to be).
When I was a kid, I was super skinny. My ribs showed, I had no arm mass, I had the smallest calves, I had no boobs (which I still don’t. I always did have a booty, though). Before I got braces, my teeth were messed up. I had a huge gap and a severe over-bite. My fashion sense consisted of only the plainest jeans and t-shirts. Plus, I was extremely shy! The slightest bit of attention from any boy, even the most unattractive, would make me blush. I hated speaking in front of groups, small or large. I avoided mirrors because I did not like what I saw. I did not like the sound of my voice. I had chubby cheeks. I was not the smartest in class. I was not the most popular. Boys did not try to kiss me under the bleachers. I was not Homecoming Queen. I got embarrassed easily. I could not do a cart-wheel. I played the clarinet.
I honestly was not a fan of myself. I envied characteristics of many other people and would often get lost in lavishly detailed daydreams. My imagination was my escape.
Although I did not believe them, I still got some compliments. However, most were from my parents and I always just figured that was what parents were supposed to do. And for some reason, some boys did have crushes on me but I was so deathly shy that I acted super cold and bitchy and would always ignore them.
But, every girl wants to feel pretty. One day I decided that I wanted to feel pretty. I was going to figure out how to make myself believe that.
Practicing in the mirror, what I discovered was that I am most pretty when I smile. I am most pretty when I am happy. I am most pretty when my personality bursts out my pupils. This was a very great discovery.
To this day, I still stand by the belief that true beauty comes from within.
Today, despite my gorgeous face and rockin body, I am a personality person. The main reason why I get noticed is because of my personality and the only reason I believe that I can have any man in the world is because of my intellect. To quote a friend, personality people get better with time and age. And what a relief that is because Botox looks like it hurts!
So I say, thank god that I used to be insecure. If I never figured out that wit, charm, confidence, contagious energy, and wisdom are more important than how tan my skin is or how expensive my purse is, I would not have a chance against all the Barbie doll, supermodel, airbrushed, hair-done, Christian Louboitin-wearing, women that are my competition. Thank god I used to be a huge dork.
With warm hugs,
Cleo
