First of all, IS there anything funny about aging?
Probably, I just can’t think of anything right now.
I can tell you this much—the aches and pains associated with aging are no laugh riot. The weird smells and certain odd little hairs that start growing in the damnedest places don’t warrant a chuckle. There are other issues…balance problems, visions and hearing impairments, the napping which you so LOATHED as a child, but crave past age 55 are all interesting phenomenon, but not funny,
I have an arthritic knee that hurts me every second of the day. I have injuries from a severe car accident 26 years ago that time has only made worse. I have sclerotic lesions in/on my hippocampus within my brain, I tire more easily, I have balance issues, I can’t hear as well as I once could, can no longer drive at night, I can’t drive without glasses during the day and the thought of driving long trips alone scare me . I’ve lost very close friends. Death knows aging well because aging has co-opted with death. I can’t remember things. I’d rather be home and watching TV on a Saturday night And I’ve become extremely confrontational. I’m talking well beyond shouting, “You crazy damn neighborhood kids, get off my lawn!” In the past six month, I’ve made three people cry……one was a Marine.
With a few exceptions, I didn’t experience any these things as recently as five years ago. But here I am.
But as much as life physically hurts every single second of every single day, I wouldn’t go back. Even we’ll before the pains caused from my accident. If my Fairy Godmother appeared before me, magic wand in hand and said she grant me the ability to go back and relive my youth starting at any age, I’d politely decline. I’d ask if she could completely remove certain people from my past, and even if she could, I wouldn’t go back.
My niece is turning 35 tomorrow. She’s a college educated woman, married to a man not afraid to be a good husband and father to their six and eight year old children. She says she’s content in life and as far as turning one year older, she says what everyone says about birthdays…..”it’s only a number”.
Well, it is…..and it isn’t. My heart bursts with joy for the 94-year- old who can still swim two miles everyday, My heart aches for the 79 year-old enduring the awful ravages of Alzheimer’s.
When I turned 35, it too was just a number, then fast forward 24 years—another number.
Aging is a slow process that acts rapidly. I’m not bouncing off the walls with glee about being 58, but the thought of having to repeat everything that got me here, galls me so that it makes being here worth it.
My life was graced with a certain flaw that ironically, has proven to be rather beneficial. Failure wasn’t always an option….at times, it was a necessity and with each one came new knowledge. With knowledge comes gratitude. With gratitude comes a better life, whether that’s lived out in a mansion in the Hamptons or in a dilapidated two room hovel in Compton. It’s all about gratitude concerning who you are and what you have…..but not the stuff you have. It’s about your contributions, the good you do….the satisfaction you get from doing something worthwhile.
And then you keep quiet about it. It can be very unfair to proselytize one’s gratitude or happiness or how much money you have in the bank, or the “perfection” of your marriage, your wonderful, superhuman children, your terrific body, health, that oh so glorious trip to Bali. You know, that and basically, every other lie on Facebook.
It’s like being in high school…..we’re not all Seniors. Some still have to go through our Sophomore and Junior years to reach that level of matriculation. Everyone has to go through their lives as youngsters and middle agers…..as inevitably, as senior citizens.
So, I urge you to embrace your present, the right here and now, dear niece, I urge that of everyone. I do that because you’ll go to sleep tonight and wake up 30 years from now. Aging happens that quickly. See? A second has already passed since reading that last sentence.
As for anything being funny about aging? Well, how about this: Three old guys, all hard of hearing, were playing golf one spring afternoon. One says to another, “Windy, isn’t it?” “No,” the second man answers, “it’s Thursday.” The third guy, listening in, pipes up, “So am I! Let’s grab a beer.”
