What does letting go look like?
The inner process of letting go is different for everyone. Inside of us, we start to feel a change happen. Attachment to things that we once felt were important might start to shift. We start to realize that something we once held an attachment to is no longer serving us. We have to be open to the process of releasing attachment to the outcome of certain situations, thoughts, patterns or even habits that no longer serve us. This can also happen in relationships and jobs as well. The whole process is scary, I know.
Two years ago, through a series of decisions about what was best for my health, I made the decision to walk away from a job that caused me great stress as well as compromised my weak immune system. I was a classroom teacher and I loved it. I loved the children, my class, the books, the decorations, and the feel of lesson planning. However, there were many other parts to the job that caused me great stress. I was always sick. I always used up all of my leave every single year which meant I went into leave without pay. It was time for me to reflect on what my future was going to look like if I continued getting worse off. I knew the answer already. There would be no future for me if my health continued to decline. I was giving everything I had to the job, and very little remained for me to give to anyone else, including my family.
Signs that letting go is needed:
- Impatient and/or frustrated with something that used to bring you joy. We find excuses instead of happiness with the "thing" we need to let go of.
- Sadness and/or anger begins to replace all the good feelings and thoughts you once had about this habit, relationship, or job. The sadness of parting might lead the way to anger...especially if you feel that this is an unhealthy attachment.
- Future you has started forming in your head. You start to imagine what the future looks like without this habit, relationship, job, etc. in your life. You realize you are not only doing well in the future, but that you can actually be happy without this attachment.
- Contentment and relief begin to come over you one day when you realize you don't have to hold on to your view, size of your house, or need to be right all the time. You can actually let it go. Who cares what anyone thinks? You are doing what is best for you.
While the process is different for everyone, ultimately, you know when it's time to move on. It is a continuous process and we must constantly refocus our thoughts on the present moment lest they go back to old ways, paths and habits that we are working to leave behind. Forgive yourself when this happens, but be determined to keep moving forward.
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