There comes a point….
…in every Designers life, when you look at your work and think What the hell am I doing? Well this afternoon was one such example for me.
After 5 hours on my knees on the floor, painting and researching for my sketchbook, I just looked down and thought; Do I really do this for a living? Finger painting, cutting and sticking nice pictures which ive torn out of magazines, and printing photos that ive taken from God know what art gallery.
Thing is; its all a necessary part of the job for the fashion designer. There are times as ive mentioned before, when we simply have a good idea for a collection, and we can just work on it without much need for the back to basics research approach. But when, like now you have an idea but you know it needs work, thats when it get tricky. Thats when the credit card comes out, fabric samples are ordered, paints and tools are purchased (many wasted during trial runs of techniques & ideas). This bit of the process is not only the most expensive but also the most time consuming, as you try to pull all your ideas together and create a cohesive collection which will come together with (ha ha ha…!) the greatest of ease once your mind is clear and focused on the final outcome.
As you know, Ive known about this collection for a while, but its only now that I have the time on my hands to really get started. I had loads of ideas, but i did as many designers before me have done, and decided it wasnt good enough. I had loads of fantasies and techniques that i wanted to try out, but It was just missing that extra something; That little spark of interest, of rebel perhaps.
Thank goodness though, that despite its seeming childishness, my research is paying off and im more and more motivated by the hour.
Today I have learned something about myself: I am like other designers, I could be like Karl Lagerfeld, or YSL… because i go through all the same motions as they do/did and at the end of the day, i get the best results possible with the knowlege that ive gained.
Thats another thing Ive learned; I have learned much more since leaving School, than I did while attending. When You are a student, you are pushed through the system, you become part of the system and you learn to think like all the others. You are not encouraged to wander outside of your little box, because you must tick off certain skills and qualities that the exam board are looking for. You can stagnate at School…
…But now that im out there, and doing it for real, by myself, I find that my mind is opening. The possibilities are endless thanks to books and the internet, which can teach me things that i could only imagine in school. I can sent my own boundaries and go as far as i like, take as long as i like and create what i like. Today; i suddenly had the feeling of freedom, the feeling that I broke out of that box and the realization that If i put my mind to it, I can be the designer that ive always dreamed of being.
xoxo LLM
