This Friendship Has Sunk

It's been a while hasn't it?
How the hell are you?
Good.
Well, now that you mention it, yes I am well.
Moved house. Finally.
Suave Marv found us a flat and it's lovely and nice and fantabulous.
Which is more than can be said for a certain friendship of mine.
I'm sure it's called a friendSHIP because of the inevitability of its 'Titanic' fate. Although, I have never worn the heart of the ocean. Or floated on a door.
Have you ever wondered why on earth you're still friends with someone? Sounds terrible I know but I'm sure we've all been there. You know what I mean, that feeling of "Oh, I really don't feel like going tonight"/"I'd rather eat my own sick than see this person".
OK. That was an exaggeration and a little harsh.
I would never eat my own sick.
I am not saying under any circumstances that this person is horrible... because they aren't.
But on the other hand, I think we are now different people. Well. I'm not. But they are.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, we are no longer compatible. Like with a boyfriend, the relationship with a girlfriend can run its course and become...well...stale. Equality and all that.
Although I don't think I can blame the size of her nudger for the reason why the relationship is no longer working.
I suppose sometimes we continue a friendship out of politeness. I mean, we don't have to see them all the time, or even at all! Just the odd text every now and then...
...but then there's that niggle inside me that feels insincere. Why should I have to endure a friendship that feels false? Why do we do it to ourselves?
Hmmmm.
Nostalgia? Memories? Loyalty?
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Because we like them?
No.
Friendship?
Abandonship!
Ermmmm...
Friendsubmarine. A friendship that spends most of its time sinking in the depths, occasionally rearing its head for an evening and drinking a few cocktails before hurrying back below where it belongs. In the deep. With the fish.
Of course, the crew are slightly depressed but will quickly go off the radar.
Finished metaphoring?
I think so.
It is Sunday after all.
Watch this space...