Three Notions About a Woman's Body That Blew My Mind!

I have discussed this with women I am close too. They, at different points of time, have been first bewildered, slightly stunned and have finally, burst out laughing. Yup, it is funny but absurdly stupid too.  You will see how:1. No menstruation pain after marriage: This had me stumped for a couple of years until a kind female relative explained the logic. Many women suffer from severe stomach ache at least on the  first two days of their menstruation cycle each month. However, I was told this pain disappears once you get married. How? It just does... I was told. Fine. 
I got this answer all the time and felt that the women in my sasuraal thought I was lying to skip daily drudgeries. Anyways, one day I muster up courage and ask why is there no pain after marriage.
 "Sab Khul jata hai..."  "Kya Khul jata hai?"   "Arre, after your first night, it all opens up!"
Big revelation. Takes me five seconds to recover and I walk away. This is understood as blushing but it is actually partly pity for their life-long stupidity and general annoyance. 
Menstruation pain, according to me, is due to muscle cramps and not any opening... narrow or big. 
2. One has to opt for Caesarian because the baby pooped inside: yeah, I have heard this too. So basically, women (some that I know) look down upon Caesarian. Why? Because child-birth was not to be so easy. But a Caesarian procedure happens only when the baby poops inside the mothers tummy and hence, could get choked on while normal delivery... hence, the procedure. 
3. For normal delivery, eat bananas and stuff yourself with ghee: so the baby can slip out easily! Yup, you read that right. So apparently, women are advised to eat bananas and ghee or butter so that the baby can slip out of them easily during labor. 
This definitely takes the cake! What say?