And I meant it. I laid it on the line for her. She and my dad are never to die. That’s that. End of story.
I stopped over at her house for a beer and some chit-chat and we started discussing getting older, and loosing parents, and grandparents. She looked me right in the eye and said “losing your parents is one of the worst things ever. I think about it everyday.”
My father’s father passed away when I was very young, but I watched my mom loose both of her parents in the span of one year, and it was heart wrenching. My grandmother died of skin cancer and my grandfather died shortly after of a broken heart. And their deaths were so hard for my mom. It broke my heart to watch. I was incredibly sad about the loss of my grandparents-I loved them like crazy, but my heart actually hurt watching my mother in such pain and sadness.
I thought it then, and I still think it now. My parents can’t ever die. I just won’t allow it. Nope. And I told her, its gotta happen eventually, science will step up and find an everlasting life serum, and since I’m most likely to be the child in charge of my parents (sorry Molly and Charlie) I’m going to make the decision and say “pump my parents full of it.” My mom sort of laughed me off like “you silly girl.” But I’m absolutely certain that I would be entirely selfish and would want to prolong their lives for as long as possible solely so I don’t ever have to go through the pain of losing them.
I think about it sometimes. What I would do if either of my parents passed away. It sounds slightly morbid, but after watching your parent lose their parent, the “what ifs” are bound to cross your mind. When I think of losing my parents I can’t breathe. I panic to the point of losing all sense. The weight of just the thought of my parents passing away, eventually, threatens to crush me, and I can’t have it on my mind for more than a moment or two before I begin to come unraveled.
I honestly don’t know what I would do with out either of them. My mother is my best friend. She’s just like me only happier, nicer, and more energetic at all times. She always wants everyone to “have a great day!” She is genuinely one of the best people I know, and I can’t imagine my life with out her. My father is my protector, and always has been. For a quiet guy (at least he’s quiet compared to my mother) he’s got a wild sense of humor, and I know I can always, always rely on him.
I’v experienced loss in my life, as everyone has, and I know that in time the pain dulls and the wound heals. But I am completely convinced that the loss of my parents is one I couldn’t recover from. They’re my parents. I’m their child. They gave me life, and a pretty darn good one at that. The older I grow, the closer we get.
I will never be too grown up that I won’t need my parents in my life. I am so incredibly fortunate to have them-I mean it when I say they truly are the best parents in the world. Sorry if you think yours are better, but I mean, you haven’t met mine. I love them to the point that I don’t think I could survive with out them. So mom and dad, if you’re reading this (and as you’re my two most dedicated readers-after I peer pressured dad into following my-I’m sure you are), I love you, I mean it, and you can’t die ever. I’m serious!
Thanks for reading, and I promise the snarky Whitney will return tomorrow and this melancholy mood will be long gone. XO
