Triple J!

Ok, well it's been a little while since I've written on here, so I'll detail recent events and my feelings about them. There has been a lot of good going on lately but the catalyst for that was a lot of bad, so this will have mixed emotions in it.
The first thing that happened was just after Australia day - the girl I was in the weird relationship/nonrelationship with called me up and told me that she had found another guy in the town that she's been living in for the past thirteen months and that she's 'starting to develop feelings' for him. This was awfully bad and shitty for me to hear for a couple of reasons. I had invested a lot into what we had as far as emotions and hoping for something to develop was concerned, as well as on a more practical level time and money and effort. I realize that it might be considered poor form to turn around and go 'well that was shit, what a waste on money' but on some level it helps to think about it like that - break it down to mere practicality. The girl got a good deal with me but I can't blame her for moving on I guess - she's been living in another place for a year and we were never officially together anyway. It probably sounds a bit strange but I'm glad she was up front with me about it as it gives me a bit of closure and helps me move forward with a clear mind. I've looked around for a bit and noticed that a lot of other developments have happened in other peoples' lives whilst my own has been stagnating waiting for this girl, so it's nice to move on knowing I did it properly and didn't cause her any pain.I really do care for her and she'll always have a part of me with her but time goes on and I guess I'll have to get over it. Another big part of why this thing is shitty for me is that I'm having to deal with it all on my own which I was hoping I'd never have to do because I thought I'd have better friends than I do. Having said that though I'm very thankful for the time that they have given me and I don't know what I'd do without them. I think being an idealist I'd like a mate who doesn't have a job or kids or a missus and can just come over and sleep on my couch and listen to my whinging without any judgment for a couple of weeks until I'm over it all properly and then goes home and leaves me to it.
In a strange way my way of dealing with this sort of thing in the past (and yes it's happened on occasions I'd term 'numerous') has been to start from the bottom up, ie. get horrifyingly drunk and embarrass myself in front of all and sundry, then go on to knock off the drinking, sleep well, work out and eat right, and basically take good care of myself until the next girl comes along to upset my nice little system. I think this might have to stand a bit of a tweaking to be able to continue when other people are on the scene.
I have a bunch of other sundry whinges that I could get out of the way now that the big one is dealt with, including the fact I haven't been laid in about eight months and that I feel like this town is slowly killing me. That second one has been eased considerably lately actually, and it's in a large part due to my decision to eat right and sleep well and basically treat myself a bit better since the upheaval of this girl. I still can't help feeling I should have been gone from this town years ago though and pursuing something more meaningful. I should have been writing my book now instead of logging into a blog that no one will read and bitching about girls and what a failure I am. But hey, it helps keep the pressure off so I'm going to do it until things pick up.
A good thing that has happened lately is that my bank account has swelled up nicely. This is great because I've got a certain number in mind as far as moving is concerned and it's getting closer all the time. I'm under no illusions that moving won't solve all of my problems but it'll go a hell of a long way to improving my state of mind and allowing me to change my circumstances more into the sort of position that I actually want to be in ie. A decent place to live, new friends who are decent (again, not that my crew now are bad, just need to meet some new ones), a good job and surrounds that will be conducive to writing that book I keep waffling on about. As far as girls go I don't think that this is the time to be thinking about them, even though my drought continues to get longer by the day and will probably start frustrating me more and more before too long. Time will tell if that one resolves itself.
Like I've already mentioned I've been eating a lot healthier and working out, and sleeping well and feeling a lot better for it. I was a bit naughty over this weekend and accepted a couple of pieces of pizza off my hungover roommate and didn't work out but I will be going and doing some cardio right after I get off this entry. I have to say it's been the best two decisions I've made in the last couple of months to stop drinking and start working out - it feels great and as long as you do it properly and keep it up there is absolutely no downside to it. I feel better, more energetic and more confident, and it's nice to think that one day I'll be able to take my shirt off without being embarrassed by the gut that's hanging out (only a little bit) over my shorts. I recommend it to everyone to get on board with it and keep at it, because it really is one of the best and simplest things you can do to help yourself out.
Anyway now I'm all pumped for the cardio. See? After all that whinging I managed to end on a positive note. Go me. Be back soon, peace out.