Motherhood is far more beautiful and far more challenging than I imagined, like most good things in this life. Lucy is a little over two weeks old, and we’re both learning what it means to be together in this great big world. I wish I could say that I began the journey of parenthood with resolute grace, but the honest truth is that motherhood is hard and there have already been many moments when I’ve stumbled.
But there have also been countless moments like this: sweet love and powerful connection. Ryan and I are in awe of our daughter. The way she lifts her head up when I place her on my chest. The quiet noises she makes as she nurses. The dark blue-grey eyes that see our world fresh. She is nothing short of miraculous. She reminds me that there is so much more love in this world than hate.
We’ve been venturing out more and more. Grocery stores, coffee shops, the homes of family and friends. We can’t stay out long but the change of scenery is much needed. What a difference from just a month ago! I miss being pregnant on some days. The relative ease it…you know that a life depends on you but you still have so much mobility and freedom. Now, I introduce my baby to people who once commented on my growing stomach. They ooh while she breathes those sweet and short baby breaths. I am so proud of her, and I realize, already, that she is her own person. Perhaps that is what makes the transition from pregnancy to motherhood somewhat difficult. We’ve gone from one to two.
And yet I know that these pains are the first of many. It is no surprise that labor is both painful and exhilarating…it sets the stage for what is to come. Motherhood is surely the sweetest of all roles and also the one most rife with mourning. Each new stage requires the letting go of the old. I hope and pray that I’m brave enough to set aside my own selfish desires so that Lucy can grow into the beautiful and strong woman she’s meant to be.
So yes, we are happy and well and growing and changing. I haven’t been in the kitchen much (due to both sleep deprivation and a lack of AC). But I promise that there are many recipes in the works, and as always, I’m looking forward to sharing them with you.
(And a huge thanks to Kadi Spurlock from Up in the Sycamore. These photographs are priceless!)
