At 7, we had a buddies in class and mine refused to hold my hand, for she was afraid that her fair skin would be tainted by my dark one.
She thought I was dark, because my mother never scrubbed the dirt off me in the shower.
I received my first tube of “Fair and Lovely’ at 12.
The commercial on Sun TV that showed a girl’s dusky complexion after the cream and it planted a yearning greed in me – to want to be as as beautiful and as happy as the girl in the commercial.
The tube, however, dried up from neglect and frustration because even after extra uses I was still as dark as dirt.
At 14, I was mocked for being “black”.
The whites of my teeth, set with disconcerting contrast, against my darker complexion was the butt of daily jokes. I laughed it off too, with fervent hopes that I would fit in and would look cool if I could accept the taunts as a “joke”.
Deep inside I feared that being black was an unforgivable sin. I feared that my mother bared the brunt of the sin of pushing out a child with such a dark complexion, for refusing to mix saffron in her milk while bearing me.
At 22, inside a pharmacy at Spencer Plaza, I was looking for organic facial packs for oily skin. The shopkeeper went an extra mile to pile up fairness creams and serums in front of me, to which I said – “Uncle, I don’t need these. I am perfectly happy being dark-skinned.”
He replied with an offended grunt and a curt statement. -“Children these days, they don’t listen to good advice.”
I watched MGR prance around with heroines like Saroja Devi and Padmini, who had to don layers of makeup just to look fairer.
I watched Goundamani reel in horror as he finds outs that his new bride is not as fair he thought she was but rather, dark-skinned.
I watched how Rajinikanth went through a cumbersome “bleaching” process to attain Shreya because of her unyielding condition that he becomes fairer if he wishes to marry her.
I listened to many songs that describes a beautiful woman as one who sports a fair skin, but none that praised people in my skin.
The Singapore-Indian entertainment scene too, unfortunately, is nothing dissimilar to the Indian cinema too.
There is without a doubt that we have a pool of talents at our disposal. Everyone artfully contributes to the growth of the community, but after all these music videos, short films and productions, I am only curious about one thing – why NOT choose dark-skinned women of Singapore to be casted? I’ve always admired the women in these local produces, light-skinned and graceful and yet I wonder, how many dark-skinned women are being appreciated these days for their color but undermined as talents for the very reason of the color of their skin.
Why is it that we are able to praise the melanin rich girls globally, but when in our own country and even in our own homes, dark-skinned individuals are still facing this very stigma from the ones who feverishly claim otherwise?
Like me, many of us were born dark.
We retain more melanin in our bodies and we are proud of it.
I would never advocate for hate on light-skinned women – but I do humbly ask of my community to view us, dark women, the same.
Hug us for the people we are for we remain the same, dark or not; lovely or not. But most of all, respect us for the color we were born with.
