Now that a few days have passed since the horrific tragedy that happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School in New Town, Connecticut – the cold blooded murder of 20 children, all ages 6 and 7, and six adults – a dialog needs to take place. But it’s not the one you might be thinking about.
I’ve been saying for years that the issue is not gun control, not by a long shot. And over the past few days, I’ve been echoing those same words to those screaming “gun control!” – but I’ve also been seeing more and more other people saying what I have been, too.
Is gun control an issue in America?
Yes, of course it is.
But is it THE issue?
No, it’s not.
Too often, mental illness comes with this terrible stigma. People are embarrassed to admit they are depressed, that they have a problem, that they need help. Society wrongly tells us that mental 
health is not something to be discussed; and people have been led to believe that mental illness means you’re weak, crazy, or just trying to get attention. The reality is mental illenss is in fact an ILLNESS, just like cancer, diabetes, or heart disease.
In Ontario, 1 in every 5 people will experience mental illness in their lifetime. In the United States, its roughly one in every four.
I don’t think our mental healthcare system here in Canada is very good. I’ve talked about this before. I don’t think our system is bad, either, but it has a long way to go. One of the biggest battles we face is removing that stigma, and encoraging people to recognize the signs in themselves, and in others, and to get the help they need.
But for every fault I think exists in our mental healthcare system here, it’s a thousand times worse in America.
I read this piece over the weekend, written by Liza Long, a mother of a 13-year-old suffering from an undiagnosed mental illness. I suggest you read the entire piece, but I’ve taken an excerpt that really jumped out at me:
“A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7 and 9 year old siblings knew the safety plan—they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.
[...]
Look, Mom, I’m really sorry. Can I have video games back today?”
“No way,” I told him. “You cannot act the way you acted this morning and think you can get your electronic privileges back that quickly.”
His face turned cold, and his eyes were full of calculated rage. “Then I’m going to kill myself,” he said. “I’m going to jump out of this car right now and kill myself.” That was it. After the knife incident, I told him that if he ever said those words again, I would take him straight to the mental hospital, no ifs, ands, or buts. [...] I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waving for one of the clinicians who happened to be standing outside. “Call the police,” I said. “Hurry.”
Michael was in a full-blown fit by then, screaming and hitting. I hugged him close so he couldn’t escape from the car. He bit me several times and repeatedly jabbed his elbows into my rib cage. I’m still stronger than he is, but I won’t be for much longer. The police came quickly and carried my son screaming and kicking into the bowels of the hospital.
[...]
By day three, he was my calm, sweet boy again, all apologies and promises to get better. I’ve heard those promises for years. I don’t believe them anymore.
On the intake form, under the question, “What are your expectations for treatment?” I wrote, “I need help.”
And I do. This problem is too big for me to handle on my own. Sometimes there are no good options. So you just pray for grace and trust that in hindsight, it will all make sense.
The piece is called “I am Adam Lanza’s Mother”. And while I don’t agree with publishing, or naming, the killer in these situations (more on that below), I think Liza Long did it right with her article.
People like Lanza, who do things like this aren’t going to stop because its harder to get a gun. They’ll go underground, find a relative or friends legal gun (Lanza did – he took four guns with him, all owned by mother owned for protection), or find another way.
A few hours after the attack I heard a someone, speaking in favour of better gun control, make a comment along the lines of “you can’t do this much damage with knives”.
An hour later, and I can’t even make this up, there was breaking news of a man in China stabbing 22 children multiple times with a knife.
Mentally unstable people will do mentally unstable things with anything they can get their hands on. Think of Vince Li, who beheaded a stranger on a greyhound bus. Think of Zhou Fang, who shot his father dead in a Toronto library with a crossbow. While certainly not as tragic as a mass shooting, they’re still tragic – and on some levels, more graphic, disturbing, and twisted – than a mass shooting.
People like this, who are this sick, are not going to stop because of gun control laws. They’re going to stop because they get the help they need, and they get better.
The discussion in the coming days needs to be not on gun control, but on bettering America’s mental healthcare system. Better gun control laws are needed in America, yes, but I think they’ll be more likely to help limit accidental shootings: children playing with dad’s unlocked guns; teens pulling the trigger as a prank, not realizing the gun is loaded. And yes, of course gun control will help with situations like this – but we are fooling ourselves if we think gun control is the be all, end all answer to the problem.
If you want to shoot up a school, or a movie theatre, or a mall – you’re going to do it regardless of gun control laws.
And one more (slightly unrelated) thing before I step off the soapbox: the media also needs to stop naming the killers, showing their photo, and telling their story.
It’s not helping.
We ALL know who Dylan Klebold, Eric Harris, Seung-Hui Cho, Jason Holmes, and now, Adam Lanza are.
We recognize their faces, see them splashed across the TV, in the newspaper.
But can any of us name – or recognize – the victims?
I can’t.
