Diaries Magazine

Wednesday 05.12.2012

Posted on the 04 March 2018 by Therealme

Andrea didn’t climb in the bus.

It was a promising day.

I went to wait alone from the back door, but:
-Nick, come!
It was Muhammed. I went with him and found out that he wasn’t aware of the early beginning. A surprise was waiting for me – Nelson I was sitting near the front door and was looking at me. Despite it, I obeyed Muhammed to sit on the other chairs. I just stated that Nelson was late too. (Chat: Metrosexual (earrings), he’s sleeping – he’s pretending to, did you recover?) Nelson stayed there, Muhammed and I went to walk. Other colleagues were waiting from the back door. Sarah and I hied each other. Inside, learning Nelson II’s row was completely busy, I went forward. Gulben told me where is available. After a little chat with Gulben, the green folder a seat next to me matched its owner – Nelson I who entered with Benjamin and Tim. It’s not just my game – their friendship gets shaked-up too. The third factor.

Nelson I was so close with Muriel that they kind of showed signs of violence jokingly. Nothing strange: The devil must use something to attract people. One day everything will be known…

After the pause, after we had IAESTE and after Gwen brought us the list, Nelson I was looking for his pen, I offered him mine, but he pulled out his. Think he got me? I just acted like a real Christian…

As I have outlined since yesterday, I signed for 24th of November too. Perhaps the professor saw me, but that was in my style. After he signed, Benjamin asked me:
-Nick will Andrea come?
“Nick”, a? I’m glad that I had already changed my opinion about him.
-No.
-Should we sign her?
-I don’t know.
… but I nodded, not to raise suspicion.
-I signed her. – Tim sounded.

During the narration, Nelson was turning my book.

Unfortunately we didn’t have a second pause, we finished with the material for the colloquium.

In the hall, I was walking close to Muriel.
-Muriel. Muriel.
-Hi.
I don’t want just “hi”.
-You’re making yourself important again.
-I’m not making myself important.
-Е what are you making yourself?
I asked her if we would have additional Maths and when. Steven joined her and asked her whether to defend her. Scratch, scratch. She confirmed.

Downstairs, I stood at the circle of colleagues. I decided to talk to Gulben about New Year’s Eve. While we were walking towards the other building, Trevor was walking behind us. I’m glad I have meaning to Gulben.

In the lecture room, I sat alone. The it girl and Nelson II were sitting together in the 2nd row, and later they had swapped the seat so that the it girl was sitting closer to the board. I wondered if after all there was truth in Andrea’s words about her. She had probably asked Nelson as he’s quiet… She used him? She wouldn’t say such a thing to me. At one point I leaned my head on the desk… I lost hope that someone would call me.

Eventually, Dave moved next to me.

On the way out Victoria (Tag: the beginning), who obviously teaches some subject, and I said “Hello” to each other. She smiled me. So, the first thing that the others remember me of at the beginning and which I made impression with to them was the smile. Now it’s gone. Normally, I was full of hope. Not coincidently, the first year is my favorite from high school. I guess either my criteria from the beginning until now are lowered, or the others weren’t causing same happiness to me anymore or I got disappointed or altogether.

After the exit Douglas asked me where would I go. Nelson was sticking to him. Yes, this is very likely: They met very recently and Nelson II immediately considers him as a close friend. And I forgot they studied together. Wow!

I saw Benjamin, Dave and others standing at the gate. Of course, I just passed over them because I already treat Benjamin like Tim.  Proof that I’m right about the attitude? He didn’t say anything to me either. I feel sorry for him.

On passing by me, the it girl asked me where was I.
-Today we didn’t see each other.

-Well you should have come to me.
-Why me?
I couldn’t hear her. I went to wait.

Nelson II never arrived, but the other Nelson was approaching. I knew he wouldn’t come next to me, he wasn’t a real Christian, he probably wanted to revenge me… but he…
-Nelson.
-Nick what are you leaving with?
-With the bus.
-With the bus. Let it be. Nice.
-And what are you leaving with?
-I with taxi.
He wasn’t standing next to me, but in front of me. He can’t be bad with me, he’s afraid of my cousin Steven and how much different we could be? Surprisingly later he asked me if I had “for beeping”, I had as I was on T-mobile subscription, but he was looking for Vip.
-Fuck it up. Fuck it up.
OK.

At least he didn’t censor himself in front of me. I appreciate this. He wasn’t like the others that when in presence of others, they choose others, and when we are alone intensively talk to me. Only the first part applies to him and I appreciate his sincereness.

When the bus arrived, I quietly murmured “come on” which he assumingly didn’t hear, because I know he wouldn’t say anything in my place. In the bus, I intentionally sat from his side.

In Preevytip, I decided not to go at the dentist for a check-up. Because of the weather and because of the mood.

As soon as I got off, somebody called me:
-Nick.
Was it Stanley? I went at him. It was George who didn’t look like himself with his new haircut and thinness. We went with the same taxi.

At home, Andrea called me. She said Nelson I, not Tim said he would sign her B.P. Probably I didn’t recognize the voice. Anyway she notified that she would come at my place to tell her which lessons she should study Maths from the senior year.

I saw Al from the window, he was looking at me house, but was it at me? Well he was wondering that Andrea was coming to my place.

The window was opened.

I showed readiness to smile, he did too and spoke to me:
-Bro, you are gonna get greased now.
Bro!? We aren’t even friends!
I was showing “no” with my finger.
-I won’t get greased. (smiling) She’s coming for something else.
-Ааа you will.
-(Showing with the left hand now) I won’t get greased. (pause)
-You go to faculty?
Interest in me. If I am not popular by myself, the others will make me.
-Yes.

Andrea stayed briefly. Honestly I didn’t know what to do.

5th of December – M.’s birthday
Things between us have changed since last year.

In the evening, on Ni, I shared:
As long as there are people that I make happy,
as long as I’m steeping the right path,
as long as there is someone that I mean to,
as long as I keep surprising you,
as long as you spend your time on me,
as long as you don’t learn all the letters and words from your mother tongue,
as long as your self is lost in the image of the others,
as long as you respect wrong values,
as long as Jesus for you is just a historical figure,
as long as you don’t accept that God is stronger than you,
as long as you are afraid of me,
as long as you don’t grow up,
I AM NOT GONNA CHANGE!
As long as you always come back to me…


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