I have a confession to make: On occasion, I have suffered from OCD.
Most of you who know me well are probably thinking, "Well, duh, Sarah." But we're not talking about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (though I do have tendencies towards that). This has nothing to do with whether or not you separate your M&Ms by color and eat them in a specific order (which I do). No, this is a different kind of OCD.
We're talking about Obsessive Comparison Disorder.
To be perfectly honest, it's not all that new. People have been "keeping up with the Jones'" for a really long time, but with the recent increase in social media use over the last decade, this different and arguably more destructive form of OCD has exponentially increased.
When the details of our friend's and acquaintance's lives are available to us with the click of a button, it's easy to get caught up in a cycle of discontentment.
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't occasionally felt frustrated with the gigantic amounts of engagement photos continually popping up on my newsfeed or all of the exciting dream job type announcements I see on statuses.
It's really easy to compare and think that your life is somehow worse or God doesn't love you as much because you're stuck in the middle of that scary part of your 20-somethings where you might have some good things — like your own apartment or a good relationship or a great job — but you certainly don't have all of them and you don't quite know where you're going or what you're doing, and so you compare.
You get irritated with such-and-such friend because it seems like they have it all together. The perfect life, the perfect relationship, the perfect apartment, the perfect job. But what you don't see is the struggle and difficulty that often doesn't go on Facebook or Twitter or a blog. You compare your outtakes to someone else's highlight reel. It's dangerous and deceptive and destructive.
I've certainly been guilty of obsessively comparing myself to those around me who seem to have it all together, especially in the times in my life where I feel the exact opposite of having it all together. But something I realized recently is that we don't just suffer from comparison and jealousy when it comes to the other things people are accomplishing.
Too often, we suffer from comparison and jealousy because we've been called to do something different than other people.
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A few weeks ago, on Easter Sunday, my young adult pastor preached from John 21.
It's a passage I'd heard about, read, and discussed many different times, but I noticed something new on this Easter Sunday.
For those of you who aren't familiar with it, John 21 is sort of what's known as the "reinstatement passage." After the resurrection and, thus, after Peter denied Christ three times, Jesus meets the disciples on a beach and cooks them breakfast. He then proceeds to reinstate Peter by asking him, "Peter, do you love me?" Three times Jesus asks this, and three times Peter responds "Yes."
Jesus gives Peter his mission — shepherd and tend the children of God. He then tells Peter "by what kind of death [Peter] would glorify God."
And you know what Peter does next? He asks about John.
After receiving his mission for life from the mouth of his Risen Savior Peter focuses on someone else. The Bible puts it this way:
"Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them; the one who also had leaned back on His bosom at the supper and said, 'Lord, who is the one who betrays You?' So Peter seeing him said to Jesus, 'Lord, and what about this man?'" (John 21:20-21, NASB)Now obviously I've never been told face to face by Jesus exactly what my calling in life is, but I'd like to think that if that happened, I wouldn't pick a random passerby and say, "Well, what about this man?"
Do you know what Jesus' response to Peter is?
"If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!"I love that. I am astounded by it. I am convicted by it.
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I love that I am a writer. I love that I have been given the ability to craft words into beautiful stories that stir people's hearts. But you know what? Sometimes I get jealous of the gifts of others.
I watch professional dancers and wish that I could dance like them. I listen to professional singers and wish I could sing like them. I watch artists and wish I could draw like them. I watch people who have an "easy" calling where it seems like they don't have to give so much of themselves or work so hard for so long and still potentially not make it and wish that my calling was "easy."
Sometimes I become so distracted by the callings of other people, that I neglect my own.
I get so hung up on the fact that God doesn't have that plan for me that I forget about the plan He does have for me that is perfectly suited for me, that will ultimately bring Him the most glory.
You were created with unique and wonderful gifts that you were given for a reason. And God has a beautiful plan for you. It will look different than that of your family and your friends and the strangers you interact with on a daily basis, but the grass is always greener on the other side. It's so easy to get distracted and focus on other people because their calling seems more glamorous or less scary or easier. That's how it might've been for Peter.
Jesus had essentially told him, "Feed and shepherd my sheep and then you are going to die a painful death, someone is going to "bring you where you do not wish to go" (John 21:18b, NASB). I can see why that would concern Peter a bit and make him wonder about John's calling instead of focusing on his own.
On the days when I find myself discontent in my calling and comparing and jealously wishing I had a different path in front of me, I remind myself that the Church is a body and our God has many different facets and sides of His personality, and if we all had the same gifts and the same calling, this world would get a very limited view of our very unlimited God.
Do you find yourself discontent in your calling? Do you often compare your calling to others and wish that your path was something more glamorous or less scary or "easier"?
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The post "What Is That To You?" appeared first on Shades of Shayes.
