What's Going On?

Markus will sometimes work late, and we'll check in by text to see how the other one is doing. They're usually boring and vague, so last night I sent him the below in a text when he asked, "What's going on at the house?"
"Charming, albeit undomesticated wife tires of the thought of eating cereal alone (again!) when a wild idea of preparing a hot meal for one comes to her, just like the ones dear spouse prepares when he is at home, this time just for her. Excitedly and quizzically looking for ingredients, she sees a new addition to the pantry - gluten free Jo Jo cookies the husband purchased last weekend on an inaugural visit to Trader Joe's. Eyes wide, she takes one cookie. Then a second. Then all the cookies. Fifteen minutes later she lays nursing her aching stomach on the sofa, clutching the box of empty Jo-Jo's. The remembrance of the dairy ingredients of her neglected attempt at dinner, now spoiling on the kitchen counter, comes to mind, and she sighs as she readjusts her pillow and returns to browsing her People.com mobile app."

Markus requested that I publish my text on my blog, probably so you would make a better attempt to rescue him from the purple walled insane asylum in which he dwells the next time you should see us.
I think I am going to start challenging myself to write more texts like this and see what the reaction is. They say a picture's worth a thousand words, but living in soap opera script treatments can be worth a thousand emojis.