How do I type the words?
How do I say it out loud?
When cancer steals the life of someone you love, there are no words.
NOTHING.
Simple words don’t do an entire LIFETIME justice. Nothing can explain why cancer swoops in….grabs a hold of someone you love….and swallows them whole.
NOTHING.
It is with deep sadness that we lost my Uncle Marty to cancer yesterday. You may remember when I wrote about him in this blog post: Dear Cancer, I HATE you and I THANK you. He was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma just 8 short months ago. My Uncle Marty was 55 years old.
He was my Dad’s youngest brother.
In these past handful of years, we have lost my Dad and both of his brothers to cancer.
Three brothers.
All gone.
Dear Cancer, I HATE YOU.
So, I try to write the words.
I try.
I write.
I delete the words.
I write.
I hit the delete button.
I write.
But there are no words.
Today, I feel defeated by cancer.
Today cancer won.
My heart feels like a block of lead that I can’t lift off the ground. The sadness makes me reflect on the loss of my Dad. I reflect on the fact that so many beautiful souls on this earth are taken away from us by this overwhelming disease. It is an epidemic on epidemic proportions. It is wrong. It is so painful.
It puts
~ once again ~
a reality check that I look at *every*single*day* in my husband Michael. Cancer scares me beyond belief. It takes my breath away. It makes me feel so small in a big fight.
The death of my Uncle is a reminder that cancer has no rhyme or reason.
~
Cancer takes aim and shoots.
Without a thought.
Without a care in the world.
It has no feeling.
It doesn’t care if you are young or old.
Evil or kind.
It doesn’t care.
It just takes.
~
How many loved ones does cancer need to take? It is like an angry dragon of fire that opens its mouth wide and bites with a vengeance. It has no mercy.
Dear Cancer, I HATE you.
For those of you who have loved and lost someone to cancer
~ this poem is for you ~
~
We are all creatures of this great earth-
interconnected in ways beyond understanding.
Take ELEPHANTS.
So big.
So strong.
And yet,
when a member
of the herd passes,
even elephants mourn.
They gather around,
extend their trunks,
and gently touch
the tusks
of their fallen friend.
It’s their ritual.
It’s how they heal.
And it’s sad.
And it’s beautiful.
So maybe
what we’re trying to say
is that the world
doesn’t expect you
to be fine with this.
Be how you need to be,
Mourn how you need to mourn.
And know that
you’re thougtht of
with love.
~
Goodbye Uncle Marty. May you rest in peace.
