Today is my husband’s birthday. Jared and I have a wonderful relationship, because we are optimistic, he keeps me laughing, plus we compromise and work exceedingly well together. Our relationship started when I was 18, he was 24. There was endless mocking and joking for our 6 year age gap. People though he was dating an 18 year old to get out of really committing, and who knows why they thought I was dating him. But those things didn’t matter to Jared and I. Jared made me so giddy, I would get red cheeks just thinking about him, and when my mom asked me about him, I’d trip over my words trying to describe why I liked him so much, and trying to describe why he was different. I never assumed that he was “the one”, but I knew what we had was pretty great. When my friends first met him, they would tell me how handsome he was. Which made me even more in lust. I even had a friend who hit on him when she ran into him at a coffee shop, and later sheepishly admitted it when she saw us together. When I was with Jared I was on top of the world. I had found the most handsome man; tall, dark hair, bright blue eyes, and facial hair that will make any girl swoon, but all of these things weren’t what drove me to fall in love with Jared.
What drove me to fall in love with Jared was the way he mad me feel. He is quiet, but has so much wisdom. At the time we met I was struggling with a deep depression, I tried so hard to hide it from him, because I wanted him to love the real me, the me that was always trying to make other people laugh. I wasn’t that person when I met him, I’d wake up most mornings crying and not seeing an end to this horrible black fog I was living in. I felt like the world was moving on without me. All I wanted to do was stay in bed and sleep. but I couldn’t even sleep because I was ridden with anxiety. I think the depression came from being an adult. Not knowing what I wanted to do since I graduated high school. I graduated with honors and college credit, but I didn’t know if college was what I wanted. I had moved out of my parents house, and was not getting along with my roommates. I lived in an apartment that smelt like dead ducks, and I hated coming back to that apartment, but didn’t want to go to my parents, because I needed to prove I could live on my own. I was financially secure, but my emotions were a wreck. When I hung out with Jared I felt home. When I was with him, we were laughing, I was genuinely happy. I think Jared could see through my mask, and he must have known he could love me, because he stayed around. I was never the needy type, I was very aware of my depression and didn’t want Jared to see that Miki, because truthfully I hated her. The longer Jared and I kept seeing each other the more secure we became. The more open we became. I started to tell him how I felt, how I was when I wasn’t with him, the mornings I’d wake up crying for no reason, the days I would go without smiling once.
Jared and I were hanging out about 2 or 3 times a week for the first year we were together. During this time Jared taught me how to become who I wanted to be. He taught me optimism, he showed me how to be happy and how much prettier the world is when you are giving out positive energy. He also helped me become independent in a healthy way. Urging me to reconnect with old friends, go get sushi, have girls nights, and he helped shape me into the person I wanted to be. He is still helping shape me, and I hope that I am also helping change his life as well. There are so many reason why I am so grateful Jared came into my life in 2008. Then when he asked me to be his girlfriend in February of 2009, it showed me that he had hope for me, and he could see that the real me still existed. In 2011 he proposed to me, which was the most meaningful day of my life until we got married in August of 2011, because Jared was saying to the entire world, that he only wanted to be with me. He had spent 3 year helping me achieve who I wanted to be. He brought me out of a depression that had hindered who I was, and he then he continued to push me. He drives me to be a better person, and he knows that we will spend the rest of our lives pushing each other and bettering one another.My dearest Jarehound pumpkin brains. I love you.
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