I can remember watching the first episode of the very first Bachelor. It was 2002 and I watched it at a girlfriend’s house while we sipped wine and yelled inappropriate comments at the television screen.
And we watched the first few seasons together just like that every week, until something changed.
The show went from a group of women who were fun and normal to insane, desperate women who looked like characters from Single White Female.
So I stopped watching.
It’s been ten years since I’ve watched.
Then, they announced that the bachelor would be a farmer from Iowa.
Well then.
See I’m living in Nebraska so Iowa is our neighbor. And my husband’s grandfather, uncles, cousins, etc… are farmers.
So I decided to give it another go.
And after 15 minutes of watching, I realized something.
Just like ex-boyfriends should stay ex-boyfriends, The Bachelor should stay an ex-show of mine as well.
Here’s why:
1. No nickname is ever good in The Bachelor. Calling him Prince Farming just made me want to stick a pitchfork in my own eye.
2. Why, oh why, do the girls think they need a gimmick when they first meet a man? From a pig’s nose to a karaoke machine, these girls seem to have the inability to just say, “Hi, nice to meet you.” I’m hoping that their co-workers offered them buckets of money to do these gimmicks so when they are dumped by him, they’ll at least have some cash.
3. It ticks me off to see women being mean to each other over a man that they don’t actually know. Which brings me to my next point. They don’t actually know this guy. They gush over him as if they can see inside his soul yet they have no idea if he’s wearing a leather thong underneath that suit or keeps a whip in his briefcase.
4. I can’t stop laughing every time The Bachelor talks about what an “amazing person” one of the ladies are. Since he has only had one conversation with each of them, I’m assuming he is referring to their breasts and ass when he is discussing their amazing qualities.
5. Lastly, I realized something as the last rose was handed out. I don’t fault these women for looking for love. I don’t. I admire their courage to go on national television and try to find someone to spend their life with. However, I feel uncomfortable watching them. I feel as if they are searching for something with such desperation that it is actually hard to watch.
You know what I wish would happen this season of The Bachelor? I wish that all those woman would turn to him and say, “I’m worth more than to be just one of many. I deserve to have someone want to just be with me. I don’t need to compete to get someone to love me.” And then I wish they would not choose him.
Now THAT would be a television show I would raise my glass of wine to again.
