I have been thinking about this for some time now and it has come to the point where I either do it or I don’t.I have to make that choice yet
I feel torn. I love The Real Supermum Blog. For reasons you will not understand.
I created the blog 10 months ago, at a time in my life when I was someone else. I was still her back then. You have all followed my journey without knowing it. Let me explain: The Real Supermum came onto the scene 20 months ago, when I opened a Mums group on Facebook. I had no idea how popular this group would become. Who would have thought a simple group on Facebook would become a lifeline to many mothers and even save lives.
When I say I have worked my fingers to the bone through blood, sweat and tears I am not exaggerating.The group needed a place to store information, to offer tips and extra support and somewhere the mums could share their experiences anonymously, away from judgement. The Real Supermum Blog was made for that purpose.
If you didn’t know I am Bipolar. I have hit some highs and lows over these last two years and my blog will show these times. You have walked with me as I have struggled and fought my way to basically survive some days.During my time of blogging I have had so many other issues going on in my life, a rather gruelling court case that lasted 11 months, with endless court dates, mental health appointments, changes of medication, having to make the decision to step away from my father as his alcoholism was destroying me and almost ending my marriage are to name a few. But I survived it. I grew stronger and the group and the blog have changed me in so many ways.
I am now confident, I have a passion to help even more mums. I want to continue to grow. My dream has always been to write a book. I don’t care if nobody buys it, I just want to hold my own book, written by me, a book with my name printed on it. Its been my ambition from the age of 14 when my English teacher told me I would either be a journalist or a news reader. I told him one day he would buy my book as that is what I would do, write books. I never did write a book. Why? I guess circumstances always prevented me.
I left school, went to college, moved out at the age of 17, spent 11 years in a domestic violence marriage, had 3 children, ran my own business for 8 years, left that relationship, had 3 babies in the space of 3 years, married my best friend and somewhere in between those 3 years I was diagnosed with Bipolar. Wow. No wonder I never had time to write a book.
So here I am sat in my pjs on a Sunday morning wanting more.
I no longer want to be the Bipolar mum of 6. I want to me a great role model for my children and I want to help other mums see that if I can reach for the stars, then so can they. I want to create a blog that is THE blog that a mum needs. I want to create a blog that mums know they can come to and find what it is they NEED. I know many will be shocked and think I have gone insane, I mean yes I know my blog gets traffic bla bla and I know a lot of hard work has gone into it BUT this is my dream. If my dream can also help others then I have to go for it right?
I have thought about changing this blog, but when I started blogging I had no idea about tags, links and I can only try to imagine how many crap posts are on here. Some I wrote just for the sake of writing. How many are full of grammar and spelling mistakes? But it would mean deleting many posts as they really have no relevance. When I started blogging I had no direction, now I do. Is it time to start a new blog, a more professional base?
I want to go back to work, I no longer want to think of my mental illness as a disability that stops me from doing things. I want to use my blogging skills and my dream to write and help others and if I can make an income then even better. If I only make £10 a week, I will have succeed both helping others and being a working mum.
I feel the only way to move forward is to stop concentrating on The Real Supermum Blog and take the next step to achieving my dreams.But I am filled with mixed emotions to if I can turn this blog around. Or if I need to start a new blog knowing what I do now?
That alone could make a book – If I can do it then anyone can ……
Have you ever wanted to follow your dreams but never did it due to being scared your not good enough or you will fail … that is how I am feeling right now.
What do I do – try to modify this blog warts and all or start a fresh – a new beginning?
I await with anticipation for your thoughts or your ideas. I am going to need all the help I can get x
