10 Confessions of Kelly Speechless #10

I haven’t posted this information yet on my three years of writing this blog and as a writer have never put this into any writable format.

My Confession: (1 of 10)

I am to a victim of Andy Cohen’s Cool-Aid and all things Real Housewives. What can I say? I love those crazy bitches. I also want to admit this in an addiction because it’s fix driven opposed to leisure. I don’t tweet about these women, buy there products, or until now have never posted about these dime bags of needed fuel. My TV watching consists of CNN and Bravo. CNN being the portal and compass trying to balance the other half of crazy it will endure later. I am going to post about this topic here and there and see how you guys take it. Don’t worry I don’t and will not post elsewhere unless asked about the topic first.

Summary Interlude To Toon Town Post Land: I love the Real Housewives of every city, county, and mental stability level. I can actually say that Bravo and the workings over at Andy Cohen land, has drug addicted me to this channel: the drug being crazy b**** crack.

With that being said, I love New York This Season! I was upset about Alex a little but then I quickly remembered that God made Andy Cohen the lucky genius who gets to direct the crack so he knows best.

Crazy Is Subjective and I am crazy myself, but these new chicks are a surprised group with two members not fully warped (season two mid season will be the baptism to full throttle Looney) and Aviva stamped her crazy care this weekend and the promo's of this episode were not nice to that man in car-Memel who said, ‘You are both white trash quite frankly.”

“I both think your white trash frankly.” quoted by Aviva? Who was that person who kind of looked like Aviva?

1. Aviva’s Promo Was Shot With Her Brother As Aviva…who is that Australian looking guy who looks like he was either just riding a horse or wresting a salamander and cleaned up for dinner? Kidding but still truthful and point taken in and stamped on that promo.
2. Was that Aviva or Dinner Time With Crocodile Dundee? I would bitch about that shot Aviva! They didn’t do you promo justice! Anyway so Aviva is as crazy as a bat shit mall.
3. That promo shows that there are secrets in the inner workings at Bravo that we will never know just like the political world secrets but Andy Cohen is president instead of…well you get it.
4. Aviva needs to practice her argument technique and prepare better outfits for fighting. You want to fight when you look hot not when male, robot, and horses showcased the day on your body and presence.
5. She is just not good at remembering things so she comes back with vengeance without a plan.

ST. BARTHS BEHAVOIR ON THE MENTAL END.

Look OF CHARACTER LOCATION IN PARADISE – THE SEASON TRIP THAT IS THE VERSION OF THE LAST SHOWING OF THE PLAY THIS SEASON – Similarly a judgment is made in a mental file for those who will be hired back to play their roles next season. Same with Bravo. So everyone did pretty well, even Carol who doesn’t talk. Here is my mental breakdown of new peaks into these women’s hamster wheel of flashback zone timeline and current local.

Crazy Is Cool? Maybe…Special Blend or New Crazy Is Great!

So, although I am crazy myself I don’t believe I would ever get on the upscale crazy level of these women. Not because of money or status but the real reason: Until you are inducted into the show you can’t be apart of this kind of crazy. If I were ever to be on the show (oh that is a thought) then I might have the chance to get that kind of crazy.

Crazy Comes In All Forms and In This Post: Blend’s of Crazy Is The Focus.

My Crazy Blend.,

Image above: (image exhibit b4A) Best Way To Explain My Blend IMAGE. Now Mentally Picture What I Have Below And Try To Get It:

Best Way To Explain My Blend: Picture and try and get the following:

Picture a peach: A Peach Used As Weapon and Face Scrub Simultaneously. Calling others to tell them this without any twinge of question while then smoking a cigarette and deciding you hate the peach or peaches once you see a little cigarette ash meet the peach crust on your lip-fusion-fully puffed lips. This image is an example of something I did recently that is crazy, and I like it in some odd way even though I know it makes me look nuts and honestly I think the graphic next to me in the shot represents well nothing…the image on the right shows how I was not lying when I said I love makeup and that I had a bad hair day. P.S. The brown pieces are now blonde and my hair is nioxin treated in this shot I had to go into hair rehab due to a mistake so there…Anyway back to other crazy ladies and the real housewives blend of mad hatter house bitches.

Exhibit After: out of Z239bz746

Real Housewives Blend:

Warning In Small Font Below and Emotion Icon’s Display My Current Feeling While Writing This Pile of Gold.

“hmmm…”

Blend of Real Housewives Blend (NY version season 5)  -A Peach Used to smoke meth out of while circling a yacht full of peaches wheel in a yacht full of their new product: Stick On Peach Nipples.

Get It? This doesn’t mean I have done these things or I have it means this is the blend of crazy they would make for me if I asked for Kelly blend at Starbucks.

A Moment of Silence and Deep Reflection Reminder about Season Two: A Look Further Into What These Ladies Go Through At the Season Two Mark of Being On The Real Housewives show and when to see a direct change in the blend of which we are assessing. Quick Discussion About When The Housewives Full Crazy Mall Opens for Consumers – Time Wise – It is mental but seasonal with optional earthly integration. The Ladies Usually Hit The Crazy Peak At It’s Highest by the middle of season two. If you thought they were already crazy season two will show you that crazy you used to know has formed into a BLEND of new crazy.

AVIVA

..and her crazy train entrance: Saint Barth’s Season 5 2012

.

So, Aviva

and Ramona had a fight/discussion/I forgot I was drunk/I don't really give a shit about this and I can't forgive you because I forgot where we left off in the fight and I want to be the winner in editing/Heated Argument. I love Ramona!

Carol –

Virgin Princess of Peace, The Show, and of the silent name drop without the whole glass + class. BBB+Rating

Love her but that guy she is dating who she is in love with knows she wants more and doesn't give a shit because he knows that her happiness or more of it would entail letting her go, but pretty boy would rather play, "I am singing my way to the 80's with a while suit, cigar and surfer boy face dreaming with my girl who I love (but haven't seen in over two months and she could be with someone else but that OK I will sense that and make a visit to St. Barths) song.

Carol's Talent I Find Unique…

Carol Is A Super Bull Shitter by Natural Chosen Execution and Disguise: Overall, when we lie about how we are fine and tell others to make ourselves and the world know we are fine we are always lying to ourselves and the people we inform of that we are peachy usually think we are full of shit and recognize the behavior. People love to tell others and themselves that they are fine with whatever shit they are trying to accept in their mind that is terrible.

Carol Is Awesome At Doing This - Example:

"I don't care it's only a foot. I can make do." ……."He is going to change and I know that sounds stupid for me to believe him but..."…."He said he only used to watch gay porn so that isn't any big deal, I mean I watch gay porn..."

When people do this type of verbal or internal convincing it is pretty obvious. When Carol does it I believe her and then get a "Oh Yea," moment later reminding me that she is full of it. She is talented, smart and a bad ass bitch in my book. Carol is my favorite under Ramona.

HEATHER

NOSE LOVES GLASS OR IS THIS FOUL PLAY?

Do you think Heather ran into the glass door on purpose? Heather has wanted this since she realized that she had a nose. Heather's family for some reason or family trait. (she is a natural origin of blank on site by others - "Oh that is a Markson nose if I ever saw one! - maybe??) Is her nose that bad? No. That isn't the point though. She should have ran into a bigger bottle of booze and then ran with some kick her step.

LUANN

LUANN….and Luby’s Cafeteria.

Luby’s has a sized platter called the LuAnn and I drove by a Luby’s on my way to the tanning salon and thought of this. Later I realized that now, Luann platters at a Luby’s restaurant I do not go to comes to mind when the word or name Luann is referenced more than Luann (Countess Rip Season 2). I have come to realize she is reality TV land dead to me because of her crazy behavior has now been laced with something I can’t even be sure of when specifics are pondered.

Luann is on drugs. It's obvious and Peter Pan (weird guy who was in a pirate costume and looked like Johnny Depp if he was inbred wearing Cover Girls old eyeliner that didn’t come on your eye except for just a hint dashed with a line here and there – greasy (Heather word) guy who was Fruity French and One Tan Away From No Air Time) and Wendy (in this case with a peter pan hair cut) had a sex  night followed by a verbal confirmation by Luann in French with English subtitles informing us not only does she do this slutty funny stuff on vacation but has done it her whole life and hasn’t changed. Jock Strap is going to be solo pised! He is so feline; French or not but I don’t hate him. No one kept harping on it (sex act) after a while because Luann didn’t seem to give a fuck enough to get rattled or even get drunk and cry about something else. Peter Pan and Cindy night two, and her annoying boyfriend at home who is French which is fine but feminine is not.

I would guess pain killers?? Uppers would indicate more out fits and head bands and I only saw a few..

She Need’s Jock In The Stomp To Make Wine Expertise Into An Atm Business because I don’t see how the Hamptons is Going To Be Able To Hold Her Long: She is smart though she needs to do some more quick career moves using Housewives for connections soon before she has to rely on well....not sure. Her husband doesn't give her enough cash you can tell because she didn't wait at home without cheating until he decided he was sick of visiting even once a year. I think he should give her what she wants.

Sonya-Nickname “SA-OWN.”

“Hot Mess Is Now An Art Form I Tried To Master But Sonya Did It First, Better, and With Perfect Work Done All In One.”

Love Sonya! But she is in need of some uppers (she should ask Luann?)to pull the all nightwear's and this can sometimes be a annoyance for a lot of us. For example: It's summer and people get drunk all day at your pool.f Then by eight you look like a prune (drunk one) chlorine filled and just want to pass out of embarrass yourself at the pool all night and not get ready and see new people who weren't already here and saw you when you looked decent earlier. If you have a pick me up then shower and makeup is no bigger and round to buckle my shoe goes off without a hitch. Sonya forgot her fix at home with the interns.