I'm reading a book at the moment by the author Bill Bryson...he's someone who's work I have only discovered in the last year or so but he has fast become one of my all time favorite writers, his wit and tone really appeal to me and I find myself nodding along in agreement much of the time at his mild annoyance with most of the everyday things in life.
The little things in life tend to annoy me a lot too, so I can really relate...
In the book I'm currently reading - The Road To Little Dribbling - Bill shares a list of 12 things that he finds irritating, things that perhaps wouldn't annoy the average person but that drive him crazy.
Bill's own list features things such as people who use the word "Stonking" (one I very much agree with!), Men who wear salmon coloured trousers, and Harry Redknapp!
Bill states that he believes every person should be allowed to have a list of things that just irritate the life out of them without having to apologize for it or explain why....even if they were things that other people like or don't have any strong feelings about.
I loved that notion, because try as might...I'm just not a naturally positive person. I am very much a pessimist and sometimes I get bored of trying to force that down...sometimes I just want to embrace the fact that actually? Most things and most people irritate the living shit out of me!
So...I decided to write my own list and here they are...10 quite normal everyday things that, for some reason, make me want to stab myself repeatedly with a rusty fork.
I would LOVE to hear what's on your own list of Things That Drive You Crazy, too...these lists just fascinate me!
1) People who eat McDonalds (or take away Pizza...) from a dinner plate....and/or with cutlery.
EAT IT OUT OF THE BAG/BOX OR NOT AT ALL!!!
There is no place for dinnerware and cutlery with a McDonalds! ..and even less so with a Dominos!
It's a sodding pizza...put it in your mouth! The end!
Knives and forks need not be involved in this!
Why are you trying to make your Big Mac seem posh?!
2) Tight fitted pyjama bottoms...
I don't mean ill fitting ones because you thought you could squeeze into a size 14 when really you need a 16, I mean the kind that seem to be on trend right now where the bottoms deliberately cling to your skin like leggings... ON PURPOSE.
DELIBERATELY CLINGY SLEEPWEAR...WTAF?!
What part of the fact that I'm going to sleep soon insinuates that I want material clinging on to my skin?!!!
Sleepwear should be loose, baggy and covered in kitsch sayings like "Bed hair, don't care" ... for the love of God...do I not spend enough of my day with clothes clinging to me?!
And don't even get me started on the big OTT fleecy pyjama tops that everybody seems to love...Do you people not get warm under the covers?! You are not a sheep...you do not need a layer of fleece on your body!
Behave yourself!
3) People who use words/sayings like "All the feels"...
or even worse..."hits you right in the feels".....NO.
Just no.
4) Beyonce
Oooh I'm not sure I should be admitting to this one...I fear I might actually be ousted from the female community just for owning up to this...but the fact is I just don't like her music!
I am almost certain that I'm the only one who feels this sense of annoyance and dislike when I watch Beyonce perform...and even I myself was a fan back in the Destiny's Child days...but as a solo artist? The whole "Queen Bey" thing? The unbridled Goddess Worship she's on the receiving end of these days?
Sorry...I just don't get it.
The word "Over rated" springs to mind.
And am I the only one who thinks most of her recent songs are cack?!
I love the ballads, don't get me wrong - I can listen to Irreplaceable, Halo and Broken Hearted Girl for days, ...but Single Ladies? Run The World? Formation? Nope, sorry! Not for me! Excuse me while I sound about 67 years old but it's just a NOISE!
5) And while we're on the subject of over-rated...
Adele.
Sorry, that's all I'm willing to say on the matter...you can go ahead and shoot me down in flames now. I know I am entirely alone in my opinion!
Lady Gaga is also a member of the "People Hayley Thinks Are Over-rated That The Rest Of The World Loves" Club...
So are James Morrison, Paolo Nutini and BLOODY COLDPLAY! I CANNOT ABIDE COLDPLAY!!!
I'm sure the're all sobbing into their millions of pounds at the news that not a fan, of course...
6) People who take their Christmas decorations down on Boxing Day
Especially when they then proudly shout about it all over Facebook...."Deccies down...Over for another year...."
Erm EXCUSE ME, IT'S STILL CHRISTMAS!!...stop spoiling it for everyone by declaring its "over".
It's not over! It's called the 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS for a reason!!!
You don't get to just take your presents, declare it over and rip down your tree just like that! NO! You suffer on through the mess and chaos with your bedraggled tree until January 6th like the rest of us dammit!
7) People who press the thumbs down button on YouTube videos...
W*nker Alert.
Do you know what you should actually do when you genuinely don't like a video?
STOP WATCHING IT AND PISS OFF SOMEWHERE ELSE!!!
8) People Who Eat Everything But The Last Biscuit & Then Put The Packet Back...
What is actually wrong with you? Who hurt you?
9) Toy Manufacturers
Did this Paw Patrol Piece O'Plastic Crap-o-Rama really warrant the 7,000 plastic cord ties, sellotape, plastic casing, actual god damn metal screws and endless other safety devices holding it firmly inside it's box?
Do you know that I have two impatient toddlers squealing and bouncing around at the side of me right now, getting louder by the second, impatiently waiting for me to get this frigging toy out of its box?!
And now you want to involve actual bloody TOOLS in this process?!
Why are you trying to break me?!
10) People who still call it "Spag Bol" when they've used another kind of pasta...
*sigh* It's not rocket science....If there's no Spaghetti in it, then its not a bloody "Spag Bol" is it?!
Spag is short for Spaghetti, you know that...yes?! So if there's no spaghetti on the plate and you have used fusilli or penne or ANY other kind of pasta...YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CALL IT SPAG BOL!!!
OK?!
PLEASE STOP IT BEFORE MY HEAD EXPLODES!
So those are my 10 random things I hate without explanation, I'd love to hear whats on your list?
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