Friday 16.12.2011
The day I invited my friends for my birthday. I hesitated whether should have I invited Darryl or not. I wanted to, because when he celebrated his birthday along with Mary, he told Mary, she to tell me that he said I to come to his birthday. I couldn’t dare. None of my family members told me to invite him. The previous evening I tried to bring the subject to my mom by saying: “A Mary didn’t come to my birthday, then I didn’t go to hers”. “So what?” said mom. She didn’t remember about Darryl. I wanted to tell her, but I couldn’t It was because he was male and I must have guessed it might have been weird to invite a male for the first time after two years with girls only. But it was unfair… He kind of invited me for his birthday and it was my turn to return it. Have I become a freak like Kathy and Renee who didn’t invite me on their birthdays? I certainly have. Just like he did it indirectly, I should have said whoever wants from the class to come to birthday, but that wasn’t what mom said, besides inviting the whole class could be understood like that I don’t have friends so… On a break when Darryl was insinuating himself to Andrea I said to her “I have sth to tell you”. When Darryl distanced I quietly asked her “Should I call Darryl for my birthday?” She didn’t hear me well and she thought it was for the New Year’s Eve so she asked Darryl if I can wait the New Year with them. His answer was if I don’t return home early because they were gonna stay longer and I have an experience with leaving earlier. I later asked Andrea the actual question, she said she didn’t know. It was my choice and I chose not to.
Saturday 17.12.2011
Mum went “downtown” and when she came back she said that grandma Daphne said to her why I didn’t invite Darryl to my birthday (Obviously he was the first choice when it comes to the subject “males”). Then I revealed the truth to mom – my secret wish to call him. She said I should have had invited him. She wanted I to do it on Facebook. I already reconciled myself that he’s not coming, so I didn’t want she and grandma to speak about that. They had a whole week!
