30 Random Facts About Me

In no particular order:

1. I have never broken a bone. Twice, informal rugby games have punished my fingers, but never a break. I sometimes wonder if this makes my childhood less Platonic.
2. My favorite dental floss is Crest Glide dental floss with mint. This stuff tastes exactly like Tic-Tacs. It reminds me of driving on the road with my mom, when I would steal Tic-Tacs from her center console.
3. Speaking of dental health, I still wear a retainer. Yes, it has a name, and no, I will not divulge. (I wore braces on two separate occasions, from 3th grade until 6th, and from 12th grade until my Sophomore year of college.)
4. When I was young, I loved the color red. I loved it so much that I wore whole outfits consisting entirely of red. Here’s a picture of my family (my Mom is taking the picture):
5. When it comes to food, I don’t like having to choose a favorite. I love blueberries, yu-choy, prosciutto, cashews, soba, oysters, klöse, figs, omelets, mango, lamb, chocolate and curry. Beer, too, if we’re counting liquid bread.
6. I once lent a friend $3,000. He is no longer a friend.
7. On the calendar, I was born exactly a month after my maternal grandfather. (On the calendar, my sister was born exactly a month after her maternal grandmother.) My maternal grandfather, mom, and I were all born exactly 36 years apart; we share the Rabbit as our Chinese Zodiac.
8. I spent two years without Facebook in college.
9. A girl once flew me to Disneyland in a 4-seat puddle jumper for a date. Her dad was flying. We were nine years old.
10. As of writing, the most recent trip I took out of the U.S. was to England—London, Brighton, Canterbury.
11. As of writing, the most recent trip I took out of California was to Beaver Dam, Wisconsin.
12. The farthest I’ve ever felt from home is when I traveled through Slovenia and saw gypsies, indigent, camping on the side of the train tracks.
13. The first story that I ever wrote was a redux of a Bunnicula book.
14. The first book that floored me was The Catcher in the Rye.
15. I wrote my thesis in college on Vladimir Nabokov. (My favorite novel is Pale Fire.)
16. My favorite article of clothing is a good pair of jeans. A meerschaum pipe is the perfect accessory to a nice, dark cardigan. A healthy set of lungs is the imperfect accessory to a meerschaum pipe.
17. I gave a speech at my high-school graduation about evolution. I went to a Catholic school.
18. My favorite quote comes from Emerson: “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.” I use it every time my logic is pointed out to be faulty.
19. If I were an animal, I’d want to be a jaguar, but I’d probably end up as a billy-goat.
20. I used to play in a “punk” band in junior high and high school. Sadly, we were much too young to realize what punk actually meant.
21. My father is an anthropologist, my mother is a financial planner, and my sister an aspiring archivist.
22. I love a good insult. “Thou whoreson zed, thou unnecessary letter!” -The Bard
23. Did I mention I used to love red clothing?
24. For a spell, I only dreamt in black and white.
25. My favorite soccer (football) player is Jürgen Klinsmann.
26. I judge friends when they don’t wring out their sponges and let dirty bilge-water nest in them.
27. I disown friends when they consistently use bad spelling, improper grammar, and diseased punctuation.
28. I grew up in the same house my entire childhood. I have a penchant for living in pinkish buildings.
29. I’ve always wanted to own a dog, but never have. A Bernese Mountain Dog and I would be friends. An Australian shepherd and I would get along. A Pomeranian—not so much.
30. My most embarrassing moment was when, as a child, I threw a stone into a neighbor’s window and broke it. My dad made me knock on the neighbor’s door and offer to write them a check. I might as well have been sent to assassinate someone, I was so nervous.