There are a few kid-centric items on my Yule/Kwanza/Christmas/etc list. I’d really like a huge box of crayons and a Lite-Brite. Also, that musical fish tank thing they put in a baby’s crib to lull it to sleep looks pretty fantastic. I could use one of those. Anyways, in the era of Apatow-ian man-children, where guys are allowed to play video games, skateboard and talk about boners until they die, I think it’s ok for me to have a few less-than-mature interests:
1. Monster High Dolls
Monster High Dolls from Mattel
Monster High Dolls are Barbies for witchy girls. I just found out about them, but they’re pretty goth-tastic. Where were dolls like this when I was a mini-weirdo??? I haven’t purchased any of them because I’m an adult, but I may or may not have put them on my Christmas list (in order of favourite to least-favourite.) They all have different personalities and histories so I had to spend about a million minutes deciphering their mythology. Yep, toys today have entire mythologies.
The Characters
Draculaura, a vampire with a pet bat named Count Fabulous who likes to wear pink bows. Count Fabulous is apparently a boy, meaning we might be entering an era of LGBT friendly kids toys (I hope.) Regardless, yay for non-traditional gender roles!
Lagoona, an aquatic monster who carries around her pet piranha in a portable bowl. She’s my favourite. I’m a Pisces, what can I say…
Frankie Stein, a Frankenstein’s monster with awesome stitch marks all over.
Clawdeen, a werewolf who, oddly enough, has a pet cat.
Cleo, an Egyptian mummy who is dating some Medusa-esque guy-doll with a snake hair mohawk.
Ghoulia, a zombie who wears awesome horn-rimmed glasses and has a matching pet owl. She’s nerd-chic. The owl is named Sir Hoots-a-lot.
Spectra, a ghost who has a purple ghost-ferret for a pet. Yes, I said GHOST-FERRET!
Abbey Bominable – abominable snow girl who has a baby wooly mammoth for a pet. Seriously, how lucky is the chick who’s job it is to think up this stuff?
There are adorable plush toys as well:
2. Hello Kitty
Aloha Hello Kitty is awesome.
Hello Kitty is like crack cocaine. All Sanrio merchandise is so freaking adorable, it should be illegal. Luckily, there’s a lot of women who agree with me. Unluckily, one of those women is Mariah Carey. Fun Fact: according to the Hello Kitty Fan Club, Hello Kitty is approximately three apples in weight. I can’t make this stuff up.
Hello Kitty art set!
3. Disney Villians
Muahahaha!
As a kid, I always liked the sexy lady-villians more than the doe-eyed princesses. The exception being Belle, the only literate Disney princess. Sleeping Beauty’s Maleficent and the Evil Queen from Snow White are my favourites. I also enjoy the Cheshire Cat and all things Nightmare Before Christmas, not in a sad/lonely Tim Burton obsessed way, just in a “I think there should be a Sally and Jack flask to brighten up my binge-drinking” way. Also, I totally identify with this scene from Annie Hall:
4. Ugly Dolls
As we all know, ugly things are adorable. Like hairless cats and Frida’s unibrow.
5. All Things iCarly
I may or may not follow the entire cast of iCarly on Twitter.
I watch iCarly mostly for the t-shirt slogans. I desperately want a “Maybe Gravy” t-shirt. Also, Spencer is sexy. I actually own an iCarly lunch bag. Where else would I put my art supplies?
