1) Budget for an engagement ring and wedding bands
Between the engagement ring and the wedding bands, the jewelry involved in a wedding can really set you back financially. A great way to cut costs is to consider simulant diamonds by looking into lab-created diamond engagement rings that have such great clarity that they resemble a natural diamond perfectly and sparkle with brilliance to the naked eye. Agape Diamonds has a wide selection of high-quality diamond simulants that make perfect diamond engagement rings. They also have a variety of matching wedding bands. For a lower price on wedding jewelry, this is a great place to look.
2) See a therapist
If you’re living in New York — life is stressful enough, especially if you’re not in a great place emotionally. Luckily, finding a therapist in Manhattan can help with your relationship issues as well as your individual needs. The New York Therapy Group has multiple clinical psychologists with years of experience that can help you find the right therapist. Plus, they even have occupational therapists if that’s what is troubling you. Whether you’re looking for psychotherapy or a more clinical approach, you’ll find the support you need here. Bonus tip: Consider seeking premarital couples counseling as well. According to the American Psychological Association, premarital counseling helps couples work on their communication skills by discussing issues before they arise within their new marriage. The best part? A 2003 survey showed a 30 percent increase in marriage satisfaction after receiving premarital counseling compared to couples who had not.
3) Learn how to fight productively
A recent article published in Business Insider seems to show that sex and money are very common arguments in marriage. According to Dr. Rachel Sussman, a relationship expert and marriage counselor in New York (who was interviewed for the article), it is very common in romantic relationships for one person to be “the spender” and the other person to be “the saver,” which can cause conflicts. Dr. Sussman also notes that when a couple gets married, a common financial problem is the decision on whether to combine finances.
When it comes to sex, Sussman has seen couples argue over too little sex AND too much sex. Both observations tend to display that a huge part of making a marriage work is going to be the ability to argue in such a way that you and your partner see a positive change. For example, being able to compromise on finances and making enough time for sex AND time together.
4) Plan ways to keep the spark alive (in AND out of the bedroom)
When you’re first in a relationship, there's a lot of excitement and, generally, a lot of sex. But over time, we tend to get comfortable with someone and that “spark” dims a bit.
This CAN be a positive change, though, according to Dr. Chris Kraft (director of clinical services at the Sex and Gender Clinic at Johns Hopkins Medicine) in an article she wrote for Johns Hopkins Medicine. We don’t HAVE to give up a great sex life just because we get married. She says that the “key” to getting past sexual “roadblocks” is to increase intimacy and put in the effort to spend time together (with and without sex).
She also suggests things like:
· Communicating our needs to our partner
· Doing things that make us “feel sexy”
· Scheduling “date nights”
· “Taking charge” of sexual situations
5) Make sure your values and life goals line up
While we will never agree with our spouse about everything, our values and life goals should be close enough to reduce conflict and maintain relationship satisfaction. This way, both people can be equally happy with equal amounts of compromise. If values don’t line up well enough, often, it leads to resentment and unhappiness that even professionals cannot fix.
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