With the global health spotlight on Ebola right now, there are some common misconceptions that the public should be aware of. The last thing we need right now is a pandemic combined with a general public that is scared and freaking the f*** out. So let me tell you why you will NOT CATCH EBOLA, in case you needed some reassurance (which any rational, sane person shouldn’t).
Preface (please read): This list is intended for people in The United States and other developed nations around the world who are not currently involved directly with on-site Ebola emergency response. Guy with a desk job in a cubicle in a major metropolitan city, I am talking to you. Basically any member of the general public who doesn’t deal with hospital patients, and who isn’t anywhere near West Africa right now, everything here applies, and if it doesn’t you can leave me a comment.
2. You don’t live or work on the continent of Africa. I want you to look out your nearest window. Better yet, grab your cell phone and open up the map and find that little blue dot that represents where you are right now. Go ahead and zoom out and notice how you are not really that close to Africa. Chances are there is at least one ocean or continent separating where your dot is from, say, Liberia. Despite what movies like Contagion advertise, once we know where an outbreak of a disease like Ebola started and is centralized, it is pretty easy to regulate travel to and from there, and we know who is coming and going.
4. You do not frequently come in contact with bodily fluids. If you do, and it was in any way intentional, then you either need to reevaluate the decisions you made today or you have a horrible job. Either way most people don’t get exposed to blood, vomit, urine, feces, or any other bodily fluid on a daily basis (excluding the previously mentioned healthcare workers and parents of newborns). If you fall under the group of people who spends their days not coming into contact with the fluids and nastiness of other people, then you are in luck. Your risk of catching Ebola has dropped to basically zero.
5. If you have come in contact with bodily fluids, they probably didn’t enter you. I know this sounds weird, but hear me out. The only way for the bodily fluids of someone who has Ebola to have any effect on you is if they get into you. This is usually accidental (getting blood or vomit on your hand and not washing properly), but if you saw something gross recently, you most likely had the good sense not to touch it, or if you did at least you washed your hands before you went on with your day. Exposure to bodily fluids is rare, but your body does have this cool barrier that keeps the gross things out called skin, and unless it is damaged or coming off it is pretty tightly sealed.
7. There is a difference between “outbreak” “epidemic” and “pandemic”. By difference, I mean they are completely different things. An outbreak is when a group of people get a disease. An epidemic is when a disease starts to infect a lot of people across a relatively large region (like a country). A pandemic is when the disease spreads beyond the boundaries of one region and starts to effect regions far outside of the normal range of the disease. So what is the proper term for Ebola? Currently it can be considered an outbreak or an epidemic, depending on which side of the line you want to fall on. Will it become a pandemic? There is practically no chance. ONE case in the United States a pandemic does not make. People who want to excite the public are going to use the word epidemic, and the level-headed people trying to calm everyone are going to use the word outbreak. Watch for this in the news.
8. You would have noticed the symptoms by now. The list of symptoms of Ebola might be a little vague when considered as individual symptoms, but when they are put together they make a pretty specific set. Here they are for you, and if you don’t have all of them then you probably don’t have Ebola.
- Fever
- Vomiting
- Diarrhea
- Sore throat
- Joint and muscle aches
- Stomach pain
- Headache
- Measles like rash
Chances are if you still don’t believe me that you won’t catch Ebola, you most likely have your own bunker and are currently taking a break from collecting rain water in underwater reservoirs in your back yard. If for some reason you still think doomsday is upon us, I can assure you that you will be happily surprised that a few months from now the news will have stopped covering this story, and we will have chalked this up as another win for modern medicine over a disease that tried its hardest to kill us all. Sorry Ebola, we have brains and microscopes and stuff.
If you want more information, please feel free to check out what the World Health Organization has to say HERE!