A Christmas Rant

Ho! Ho! Ho! And a bottle of rum...
Err...maybe some wires got crossed. It is unlikely that Santa Claus comes roaring down chimneys, singing 'Ho! Ho! Ho! And a bottle of rum'. Fat chance he would have of locating stockings to put his toys in. if he did. Especially, if that bottle of rum had already watered his innards.
Not that he actually has any stockings to put things into these days. I mean, if he insisted on them being hung up he would probably have a zillion people suing him for lack of customer care. After all, if it is his job to deliver toys on Christmas, is it not his duty to pack them appropriately in stockings instead of expecting the customer to supply the same? So what if it is even for free...it is the principle of the thing.
Now that chap who did sing that 'Ho! Ho! Ho! And a bottle of rum' is unlikely to have any such issues. I mean a pirate is a pirate is a pirate. So, Long John Silver is more likely to ask you to walk the plank than deliver you the next best thing in iphones. AND, yes, if you were asked to bring along the plank yourself, you would fall all over yourself to oblige. After all, there are other options like keelhauling and the like, which he may opt for, if you failed to bring along the plank.
Which only goes to show that we really know where to complain and where to keep shut. So, the next time you feel free to rant about something to someone, just remember that you do feel that freedom because they are NOT Long John Silver!
AND, who knows, it may even strike you that even you could strive to make the other person happy...by choosing to express pleasure, instead.