A Journey of a Thousand Miles

“A  Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with A Single Step” - Laozi

I have a confession to make.  It’s a pretty big, personal confession, and I’m scared to confess it. I’ve denied it for a while, I’ve tried to bury it, I’ve tried to make excuses for it, I’ve tried to pretend it’s not a big deal, but I’ve finally gotten to the point that I need to admit it.

I’m overweight, I’m depressed, and I’m a binge drinker.

I’m 26, and my life is falling apart. I’m stuck and I need help picking myself up.

The ironic thing is that I just finished my certification as a holistic health counselor.  And I feel like a fraud. How am I supposed to tell my clients to eat healthy and exercise and yet I myself am far from a shining example of a healthy person? I have an abundance of knowledge when it comes to the pros and cons of 100+ dietary theories and yet I’m an emotional eater and I don’t exercise. I’m stressed. My skin is breaking out. I get headaches every day. I drink a LOT on the weekends because I’m stressed. Then on Monday I get stressed because I drank so much over the weekend because I was stressed, but it didn’t help (obviously, it just made me more stressed).  There are some days I can barely get of bed. I’m going round and round in a viscous circle and I need it to stop.

So you see, even people who study and promote health and wellness need help, too.

Something has got to change. Now. Today. This isn’t me. This isn’t the life I want to live. I want to have a pep in my step again. I want to spring out of bed, without an alarm clock waking me up, EXCITED for the day ahead.  I want to fit into my whole closet full of clothes that I haven’t worn in years instead of wearing the same pair of jeans everyday because that’s all that fits. I want to be happy, balanced, sexy, and confident.

I’ve decided to become my own best client and start practicing what I preach.

I’ve tried almost every diet/deprivation plan there is. I’ve even done Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, and Seattle Sutton. I’ve tried the protein powders and meal replacement shakes.

And yet here I am, five years after I first noticed that I had gained a lot of weight and went on my first diet (as an adult, that is – I have a whole bunch of history with dieting in high school) and I’m even heavier than I was then. I’ve lost weight through crash dieting but inevitably I’ve gained the weight back (and then some).

I’ve never actually taken the time to address the internal issues. Sometimes it’s not about what you’re eating, it’s about what’s eating you.

So, here I go. Today is May 1^st, the beginning of a new month, it’s finally spring, and it’s time for a fresh start. I’m going to start this journey of a thousand miles by taking a single step every day towards rebuilding my health and wellness. I thank you for joining me on this journey, and I hope that my story will encourage and inspire you if perhaps there is something in it you can relate to.

Step 1: Admitting to y’all that I have a problem and I need help. They say the first step towards making a change is admitting you have a problem. It’s a huge weight off of my shoulders and I can already feel your support and encouragement. So thank you.