It’s a challenge for older men signing up on Match.com to come up with a “handle” that will attract women.
In the handles I’ve observed, about half the men used their own name, a number, or a combination of names and numbers. But the other half must have felt they needed a more meaningful phrase in order to draw in the ladies.
Some were mostly descriptive: boots-and-t-shirt was wearing a t-shirt in his photo, and probably boots as well, though the photo showed only his upper body. Hair had a wild mane down past his shoulders. No baldy, that one. Old was indeed old looking. Not sure if he was just being honest or proud of the fact that he’d made it this far.
Happy-fisherman was holding up a big catch in his photo. Descriptive and communicative at the same time. Expect him to be gone fishin’ most weekends, darlin’. Better plan on taking up the sport yourself, or at least be prepared to gut and cook his catch.
Old-geezer-at-60 looked startled in his photo, as if he were surprised this was happening to him. Hey, sixty is the new forty, so don’t give up yet.
Skipper-boat’s photo was taken on his boat, of course, and Harley-poison-ivy was on his hog. Sky-jumper was in his jumping outfit.
Ladies, are you ready to take up a new sport at sixty?
Some of the men picked handles to reassure women: who wouldn’t feel safe with a mensch or a teddy-bear? How could you not be attracted to a noble-heart? Or feel comfort in the presence of serenity?
But I wonder, is pamper-and-spoil telling you what he’s ready to give, or what he wants to get?
Then there are the sad ones: alone-again, lonely-Bob, and the resigned, OK-it’s-time-to-do-this. I can see him gritting his teeth and pushing forward against all instincts to hide.
Some try to be honest: Old-lawyer-coot is pretty up front. Moody, hassle, and ouch might make you pause before checking them out. For the scariest, I’d vote for used-to-be-postal.
If you’re still a flower child at heart, you might want to try purple-haze, ol’-hippy or cruisin’-dude. Doctor-dream sounds intriguing, too.
Some of the handles make it clear their owners are ready to perform: hot-lips, fast-Walt, us-share-fun and beaver-lodge are pretty clear. Moonlight-jewels is a bit ambiguous, or perhaps just a literary take on ready for sex.
If you’re a little shy and not ready to jump into anything too quickly, pen-pals-for-now may be the man for you.
Some try to reassure the younger women they’re looking for with handles like healthy, lotsa-life and no-old-for-me. These guys may be senior citizens, but they are healthy, fit, and young at heart. Give ‘em a chance.
When did dating become a marketing project? Or was it always one? Unless you can get to know someone over time in a natural setting like school, work or other ongoing activity, how do you find a suitable partner?
The singles bars I tried when I was single in the seventies were certainly a disaster. I was never attracted at first sight to the kind of man I’d actually want to be with. It’s always best if you can get to know each other first without the pressure of dating. But if that doesn’t happen, what’s your choice?
