A Moment of Regression

I vaguely remember little me talking in front of a bathroom mirror, giggling. I was contemplating the idea of being a "grown up", saying, "when I get older, like eighteen or nineteen I'm gonna be this tall and I'm going to have this and that, and I'm going to be super different and I'm going to have this problem and that problem, but they're cool problems like having to stay up late and do homework and mamma can't help me since I'm a big girl now. I'm going to have big college books that are so heavy and so thick but I'm gonna study them all day long and I'm going to be super smart! Yeah, and I'm going to have glasses, but they won't make me look nerdy, just cool and grown up. I'm going to be so neat and awesome when I get my own room. My stuff will be organized and cool... I can't wait to grow up!"
Yes, random thoughts that flitted from one topic to the other, splurging ideas that just popped into my head of some amazing future. Guess what friends? I'm turning eighteen in thirty days and the thought hit me like a bullet. I'm not exactly that girl I imagined myself being, but I'm not that disappointed either. I'm not as organized as I had hoped to be, but I definitely am ambitious, have those really big heavy textbooks, though I don't read them, and yeah I'm staying up late doing homework but only because I have a huge procrastination problem. Though what surprised me was for a minute there, I regressed back to my little self and I felt like that young person I used to be was thrust into my body now, and she looked around in awe at what she'd become. It's not her cookie cutter, idealistic view of what she wanted to be, but I think she's fairly satisfied. Her new technology, a bookshelf full of thick chapter books that are a sheer sign of comfort for her...her desk. Calendar. Sense of style. Her witty personality. It's all her.
It's all me. And I can't believe it. Maybe I'm in denial that I'm turning 18, maybe I'm regressing to my childhood before it's officially over. Maybe my childhood is reminding me that getting older is actually a good thing. Whatever the case may be, it was nice to be greeted by little me so she could ensure me that I'm on the right track.