A new beginning is upon us. As a mother with a new family member set to arrive in just a few weeks, as an artist with an anticipated new venture slowly coming to a head, and as a dreamer with big plans set to unfold over the next few months, I am ready. I breathe in this new year with such relief, excitement, and peace, and happily bid farewell to 2012. It was a tough one. The past year challenged me in ways that I could have never imagined. 2012 uprooted me in so many ways, and made me deeply question the decisions I have made and the path that I am walking. Things that had always been so easy and sure suddenly fell away, leaving stressful nights and financial hardship in their wake. We moved away from the community that we had known and loved for the past decade. We realized that our hard-earned jobs may not make the best careers in the long run, and we were faced with difficult choices. In the face of those choices, we sometimes made decisions that were best for our family, and sometimes made decisions that society says are "best for a family," and from both, we learned. I emerge from 2012 with deeper clarity and wisdom that I have ever held. And for this, I am truly grateful.
I am a dreamer. Like everyone, I have seen tough times, heartache, and loss. And through it all, or perhaps because if it all, I continued to dream. I have felt overwhelming joy, elation, purpose, and love, and they have given me strength to dream of even greater things. Imagining and acting upon my creative ideas and life's unpredictable adventures is what gets me out of bed in the morning. Following my heart is what led me to New York City, through many cherished years or experiences, to my husband, and to the decision to have a family. Following my heart, and nothing else. As this new year -this new era- begins, I want to constantly remember this.
As a mother, there is nothing I wish to pass on to my children more than this knowledge, this way of being. I wish for them to leap as far as they can imagine, and to sidestep convention and mediocrity for greatness- for their own self-determined greatness. I want my Biet, and my little boy on the way, to know no end to their potential. Yes, I want to tell them to follow their dreams. But more importantly, I want to show them how to live their dreams, everyday.
I vow to show them. This is not a resolution, but rather a manifesto. Gaby and I have thought long and hard about what we want, what we really want, out of these precious days with our family, and out of our individual careers. We have come to the conclusion that we have no choice but to bring our great dreams, which have been unintentionally brushed aside over the past 12 months, back to center of our lives. We began this journey a few months ago when we decided to really give our creative careers a go, but somehow fear of failure, and financial woes, led us astray. Now we have no choice but to put our fears into a little box, lock it, and to throw away the key. We have no choice but to reconnect with our inner dreamers. We have no choice but to live the life that we have always imagined. We deserve it. And our children deserve it.
Perhaps it's the universal collective sense of new beginnings that arises at this time of year. Or perhaps our family is simply ready, finally, to move on to the next stage. But I feel that the winds have changed. Potential is creeping up through the cracks of everything, and letting in the light to propel our dreams forward. I vow to show my babies what it means to be a dreamer, and I have a feeling, or more of a knowing, that great adventures are in store for us along the way. It is all so clear.
I wish everyone great happiness in each dream and venture of 2013. Happy new year.xx
