Dear The People,
Pay your parking tickets.
…I mean it.
I know, I know…it’s that nuisance thing, you whip off your windshield, while peeved off, and throw into the back seat, on purpose spending the rest of the day trying to forget all about it.
…Only, don’t.
…Also, don’t forget about the one time your car fell apart last year, and spent a month in the shop being taken apart and put back together again. I know it’s hard not to, but sometimes you get sidetracked by the number of bills this accrues. So many that a bank loan is needed to be taken out to help pay for it.
…And don’t forget the extra fees you had to keep paying to get the smog check done, which it never passed, because of computer codes registering that you had fucked with the computer, by resetting it. Which happened when they needed to take the entire engine out to…you know…fix it and things.
…And then, don’t forget being pulled over because your tabs had expired, which you couldn’t fix, because the computer codes needed enough road time to re-set (so the smog people told you) before they would register right for the smog test, which you have to pass in order to get your tabs.
…And then remember the day you walked into the DOL with about five tons of paperwork, and stepped up to the window, with your (now) driving without a tabs ticket, your $6,000 loan paperwork, your three smog rejection slips (including your just five second ago received one) and a check for $90 begging on all that is holy for some kind of mercy out of the guy behind the desk, as you plead for a fucking sticker, for your fucking license plate, so you fucking stop getting tickets for this shit.
AND DRIVE YOUR FUCKING CAR.
…Then, when that is all done, and a new sticker is on the plate, and you are home…don’t forget how you spread all that crap out on the coffee table in front of you and thought, “How in the fucking hell am I even going to pay for all this shit? My monthly car bills now equal nearly all of my monthly house rent.”
…And then remember taking a copy of all of it, the next day at the office, checking the “request payments” box on the fucking tabs ticket…circling all the goddamn reasons on all of the corresponding paperwork, explaining how you are beyond broke at this point, and this $20 is about all you can handle at the moment.
…Then…and this is the really important part you guys…(and it’s really tricky, cuz like you are pretty burried from then onward in these heaving bills from hell)…try NOT to forget that you did this.
…Because if you don’t? (And if you live in this state)…they can…(and apparently WILL) revoke your license. And forget to tell you about it.
…And you will find out about it, quite by chance one day…as you find yourself stranded on the onramp of I-5 at midnight on a Friday, in another county…waiting for two people to come drive you to their house…where you will be a spur of the moment overnight guest, and require vast rescheduling of other people’s days to get you back home again.
…BECAUSE…IF you forget ANY of the formentioned things?
THIS is what will happen to you.
…Like it did to me.
Last night.
…So, apparently instead of keeping herion dealers, sex predators, common thugs, and drunk drivers off the street, you all were saved by your tax-paid police force last night from having to drive ON THE SAME FREEWAY with a horrible CRIMINAL, who DARED to accrue sick amounts of debt (which she IS paying) while forgetting about the equivelant of a parking ticket, of it.
Which leaves me with no license until Monday. When I call the DOL and see what the settlement fee is. Which with interest accrude from sometime last year, is no way gonna be something I can just “swing” off the cuff, on the same paycheck that my Rent comes out of.
…Meaning I will now be paying the equivelent of my house rent for a car that is perfectly able to run, is fully insured, and which I will not even be able to drive again until…well fuck…who even knows?
And the moral is?
…You know what? There are too many snarky one-liners about how small crime doesn’t pay, and we should really just Go Big Or Go Home.
…I’m too tired to spoon feed one right now.
Just take your pick.
~D