A Rawr Divided

Posted on the 02 August 2013 by Rarasaur @rarasaur

Today’s Daily Prompt asks:

Pick a divisive issue currently in the news. Write a two-part post in which you take on two personas and approach the topic from both sides. Bonus points for a creative format (roundtable discussion, debate transcript, etc.).

I don’t really read the news, but the second part of the question is something that I’ve been doing my whole life.  Friends, families, and co-workers alike know that I answer almost any direct question with, “Well, it depends…”

Sometimes, people feel like I’m dancing around an opinion but I’m not.  It’s just that I have many facets to my character and each of those personas has a different and distinct relationship with everyone– complete with different worries, hopes, and thoughts.  I genuinely feel multiple opinions at the same time and it’s up to the asker to decide which of my personas is the relationship they trust or need most at that moment.

I do this with myself too, but since I only have one relationship with myself, I ask the Muppets.

For example, I recently decided to change my blog theme.  I’m 99% happy with Sight, and I’d recommend it happily, but I feel like it’s not going to grow well with me in the coming months.  It’s just a gut feeling, but I’m usually pretty good at these things so I’m taking it seriously while I have a little time on my hands.

However, I’m not so good with change.  It pretty much terrifies me and I’m amazingly adept at coming up with reasons not to do anything at all.

Luckily, the Muppets don’t pull any punches.  This is what they had to say about my theme.

Not to worry you, Rara, but this theme won’t fit all the badges and links you want to put on your sidebars.  It’s bursting at the seams as it is, and the menu wouldn’t fit at all if you wanted to make it easy for people to find the old posts.  If your blog explodes, the show can’t go on and then there won’t be any point of any of this, and I won’t be able to get into the blog area of your mind anymore, and that’s where I left the stapler…

Based on your specifications, MuppetLabs has determined that you need at least 3 columns and will need to update the featured images on the last 15 posts.  You will also need to have a header ready and prepare people for the inevitable chaos that will ensure.  We have designed this special bouncy ball called the DISTRASPHERE which should help you distract people.  It has been tested thoroughly and all your blog changes will go smoothly.

I’m glad you came to me first, Rara.  I am a style expert.

Whatever you do, you’ll have to try to keep your flair (the small amount you have anyway).  Of course, as long as a girl looks good and is comfortable, it doesn’t really matter what brand her clothing is or what size it is, or how many columns her blog has or whether or not her header is green.

Stop worrying, you’ll wrinkle.

Okay, okay, okay, I have an idea!  Up in the corner, instead of your header, we put up a picture of a house with a teacup on it.  We put up a sign to say that your blog is under construction for several days.  You don’t post.  We tell people to sit around and browse old posts.  We tell people to help themselves to some tea– after all, it’s on the house! Wocka wocka wocka!

Mmmm, like, I don’t really know.  I like this theme, but it’s not like I like like this theme, you know?  Maybe change is inevitable and maybe beautiful stuff is around the corner if you just calm down.  Maybe any theme is just a shell covering the inevitable human experience bound in the words of a simple blog.  Maybe you should pick a theme with a good name for, like, karma calling.

Here’s what we do.  Switch your blog the way you pull of a piece of painter’s tape off a monkey pinata– quick and easy.  Then, sort stuff as you go.  Keep posting schedules normal because people come for the company, not for the stage.  Add a few chickens to the side of each page, and put secret buttons that lead to codes that unlock a treasure that we hide in a national park.  I’m ready when you are!!

This theme smells like apples. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHPPPPPPPPLLEEEESS!

Rara, Rara, Rara.  I know that sometimes change can be scary, but it’s just part of getting to where you want to go.  Things only stay the same if you stay still– and even though it’s awful nice here, there’s wondrous things to see just around the corner.  I know you’re afraid, honey, but I believe in you– and those guys out there in the audience? They believe in you, too.

Did my Kermie just call you “Honey”??? HEEEEE YAHHHHH!

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Are you a one-opinion-per-topic type of person, or are you a house divided, too?  How do you go about implementing changes in your life– do you rip off the band-aid quickly or are you a methodical plodder?

Do you smell apples here?  Did the Distrasphere distract you?