You know when something amazing happens in your life, you just have to take a Selah moment.
A Selah moment may be also rephrased as a miracle moment:
Stopping to think and meditate about what is good and perfect in your life.
It may also be a moment to stop and breathe.
Or… a moment to pause and calmly think of your blessings.
This week, my experiences of ’Selah’ happened to catch several emotions:
- Peace and Praise for new vulnerabilities
- Sorrow for the stories from the past
- Hope and Joy for the smiles and laughter
- A little frustration for the unexpected crises
- Understanding and Blessedness for the daily love.
People who don’t even know my daughter have blessed her life, sent a prayer and well wishes for her. For that, I am grateful. In this great moment of Selah, I have found myself thinking about the vulnerability of parenthood. I didn’t realize it even existed!
I guess that makes sense, since I haven’t been a parent before this past weekend, right?
I have very fragile feelings, at times, very unexpected feelings of not whether I am doing it right, whether I am actually making a mistake or saying or doing something wrong, or hurting her fragile feelings. Not knowing what she is thinking, feeling, believing , receiving or what kind of filter she has, and whether I am impacting her thoughts and mindset in a positive way. Everything I say, its like she absorbs it right into her little soul. When I speak, she looks me deep into my eyes and her eyes smile, and they glean. Her eyes capture something significant, stores it, and it comes back up again in how she manages to begin to live it.
WOW…. its the coolest feeling. I don’t think there is a feeling to describe that action!
I was thinking this week, how no one hardly speaks of this. This type of intimacy parents build with their children. I mean, it can be kind of scary – for lack of a better word. It feels like I can have a lot of power and leave it with her in such a very righteous way, or I can be apt to hold this child’s heart in my hand and crush her world forever, if I should slip.
So… everything is careful, every move, every word, is thought through before releasing it, every consideration is managed differently./. just because… I am loving it on one hand and yet on the other, I am loving the person I am becoming in the process of this evolving.
I must tread lightly with my feeling, words and actions… a total “new me’ is evolving… and sometimes I feel like crying, or not sure what I am feeling, some days mentally drained, yet absolutely loving the way that I sleep. The happiness and elation I feel inside for just having her around … don’t think I have felt this way before,. I have never felt so distinctly different. Never expected the maturity, the spirituality and the connection… it’s so deep.
I feel sometimes, like.. who is this girl and where did she come from, and how has she just connected with me, so deeply and intimately, already?
I feel like she was waiting for me… and so …. I give God praise. Praise for her being here. For answered prayer. How does this happen, I say sometimes, but then, isn’t that called a miracle?
The things you cannot explain?
Yeah, that’s a miracle , alright.
Selah.
