At this point in time, I’m thinking my most viable retirement option is kicking ass on Wheel of Fortune. I don’t always get the chance to watch it, but when I do I must admit that I’m pretty good at filling in the blanks.
But right after Wheel is done Jeopardy comes on, and quite frankly, those people are freaks.
Teen Week is the one time of year that I feel pretty smart (well, save for the final championship in which I realize a high school junior just won a Jeopardy tournament while I was skipping class and debating the merits of flavored Lip Smackers during my junior year—but still on the Honor’s Society, mind you.)
Anyway, when I watch regular Jeopardy I get excited if I get at least one or two questions right each round. Half of the time I don’t even know what the question is asking.
How these people know about countries with a population of three people, two endangered unicorns and several species of rare flora or lines from books written in 1875 is beyond me.
Give me categories that involve food, sports or some type of crafty wordplay and I can occasionally run a category. Once in awhile something from high school science or college French will pop into my head and I’ll get a question right.
I will then proceed to celebrate and miss hearing the next three questions/answers.
If by some divine intervention I am able to correctly answer the Final Jeopardy question, I pretty much start filling out applications for Mensa before I realize it’s a lot of work and instead go get a snack.
My point is that these people are quite amazing. Even the weirdos that completely blank out and end up getting their name wrong still had to qualify to make it on the show. That is much more than I will ever (desire to) do, so props to them. But I do have a suggestion for the contestants:
Work on the interview portion a bit, eh?
Those 30 seconds of awkward “social” interaction with Alex usually cancel out any envy I had for their mental acuity. That might sound harsh, but that time should not be spent sharing that you have an extensive collection of Beanie Babies or that you once found a potato chip that looked like Jesus skiing.
If you have time to memorize the temperature of every star in the solar system, you have time to plan this part out a little better. Maybe run the idea by your friends and family if only to spare them from fast-forwarding through this part at the watch party you will throw yourself when the show airs.
You’re smart. At least make something up or throw in a “Suck it, Trebek.”
Just make sure not to ask for a vowel.
What is, “Like the blog? Buy the book.”
I grew up watching game shows like Scrabble, Classic Concentration, Press Your Luck, etc. with my grandma. While there are many shows I would go on, I think I would still like to go for Big Bucks, No Whammies.
And you? What game show would you go on?
