A MAN IN A ROOM FULL OF WOMEN IS ECSTATIC.
A WOMAN IN A ROOM FULL OF MEN IS TERRIFIED.
And you tell me double standards don’t exist.
Having lived in Sri Lanka all my life,the ever so blatant double standards that I as a 18 year old girl has to face in Sri Lanka didn’t strike me as hard as it should have,perhaps because of the veil of normalcy that adorns these problems,well at least until I spent 4 months in a developed country as a college student.
Don’t get me wrong,I wasn’t cocooned or oblivious to the double standards prior to this,I have called out on it a vast number of times,traveled and seen the world and associate(d) with very progressive adults as well as people my own age all my life. The type of people who don’t succumb to the iron fist that dictates these double standards.
Yet,living all by myself in Melbourne for 3 months made me question,why is is that I felt so much more safer in a foreign land where I had no family, a land where I solely relied on public transport,where I completely fended for myself and yet I felt so much safer than I would in Sri Lanka,even though I never use public transport,live with all of my family and rarely if not never, alone.
Source: http://msmagazine.com/
Why is it that walking on Galle Road at 2:30pm after a movie at Majestic City in a t-shirt and a knee length skirt makes me more anxious and feel more vulnerable than walking back alone at 10:30pm to my dorm in Melbourne,along empty roads in skimpy gym shorts and a tank top ? Because,standing on Galle Road,there is a 100% chance,an undoubted certainty that at least one “man”,whether in a passing bus,tuk tuk,car or even a pedestrian would undress me with their eyes,scrutinize and look me up and down,catcall loudly or perhaps mumble something softly as they walk past you,usually along the lines of “ah,nangi maru baduwak ah” which roughly translated is “hey sister you’re a fine thing” -the ‘thing’ more connotative with a piece of meat than a human being or someone who just walks past just a “bit” too close,so much so that you’re personal space disappears for a second,even though there is at least a meter on every side around you which the perpetrator could have utilised instead.
And all I can wonder is don’t these people have sisters,girlfriends,wives and would they want them to have to divert their glance and try their best to ignore the eyes or voices attacking them.
Source : http://womeninastronomy.blogspot.com/
It’s a common argument that none of the above is a felony and I am aware of this.That is why,I didn’t include none of the events that are considered wrong in the eyes of the law.The gropings.the rapes.the abuses,the child abuses,the domestic violence,the domestic rape.Even though they do happen,and is definitely a much more serious and traumatising ordeal, the events mentioned previously, the street harassment, has become a part and parcel of almost every Sri Lankan womans daily life. Women dress in the morning,with the little voice in their head dictating them to wear something that wont draw attention,an outfit that allows them to go through the day without being catcalled at or having to nervously look way as a hungry predator stares at their prey.
Source : Nation.lk
Yet,ironically its never the outfit. Its never the woman. Its never the place. Its the mentality. The perception that women are walking bits of eye candy.That it’s “manly” to scream atrocities to a girl from across the road in broad daylight. But,whats worse is,the catcalling and cringe worthy winks and other very suggestive body language which seems to be exacerbated when men are in groups and a woman walking alone. Which is quite horrific,because one would assume any self respecting man would be embarrassed to degrade a woman in front of his friends or that a least one of the men in a group would stand up against it – but its arguably such an ingrained part of Sri Lankan culture that its embarrassing and a sign of weakness,if a a group of men does not use the opportunity to exert their power over her.
The events above has become such a part and parcel of Sri Lankan culture that we have been taught to laugh it off,not take it seriously or worst of all take it as a compliment.By that logic,a rape victim should feel flattered that the rapist found her attractive enough to want her bad enough that he was willing to risk jail time. Melbourne made me realize that this is not normal nor is it acceptable. Its not normal to wear jeans in 38 degree celsius heat solely because you don’t want to be catcalled at. Its not normal to make and alter plans so that you wont have to be alone for too long. Its not normal that when I was 13 and playing on the road with my cousin sister,four men on motorcycles that appeared out of nowhere blocked our path and taunted and teased us. Its not normal to immediately lower your eyes if eye contact is made with a male stranger because alternatively if you smile,its perceived as an invitation. Its not normal for me to even see the need to write an article like this in the 21st century. An article bringing forward the ridiculous notion that women are people.
Sri Lanka is my home and I am deeply patriotic. But just because of I am proud of my heritage does not mean I am proud of the societal values. I am insanely proud to be from the country that had the first female Prime Minister in the world. The country that as per the Mahawansa respected women like Vihara Maha Devi to the point where they were heroes and leaders. But then one wonders why are the mothers and daughters of Mother Sri Lanka constantly looking over their shoulder?
But most importantly,why is this not a problem? Why is it not a national issue? Has the male chauvinism in our almost all male parliament led to our politicians simply choosing to not see this as a problem? Why is the safety of half the population not a priority?
But,God forbid a woman taking off her bra.
Source: livenationpresents.yahoo.com
