So last night I said something that I'm not sure was totally correct or not? And it has left me confused.
I said that without Ethan or Adam, I'm not sure who I am.
Now actually.. I don't think I quite meant that. Because I do.
I know what I do and don't like, I have lots of things that I am happy to do by myself. I know exactly who I am.
What I think I meant to say was, 'I'm not as confident as I probably should be without Ethan or Adam'.' And I think there's reason behind that. Firstly, I've grown up with Adam. We began our relationship at 14, so I've become the adult I am today with him right next to me. Pretty much everything I've done for the past 11 years has been with him. And now that I have Ethan and have been with him pretty much 24/7 for the past nearly 9 months, I've grown to only know doing everything with him.
Add my unfortunate separation anxieties to that.. And I suppose that goes someway to answer any questions that I have about why I feel unconfident without them.
On a deeper level, things don't feel the same without them. Shopping, getting a takeaway, watching a film, it's all just not the same.
Sometimes I wonder if it's just me that feels this way? Whether or not I'm addicted to them, have weird anxieties that I need to address or whether or not these feelings are all just perfectly normal?
