After April 3, 2007: Everything Changed & Everything is Finally Beginning Again

Posted on the 05 April 2013 by Juliejordanscott @juliejordanscot
It is time for the Five Minute Friday Flash Mob of writers. Every Thursday night until Midnight Eastern time a group of incredible women gather, waiting for our prompt for the week. We never know what our prompt will be, but we catch up, nibble on nutella, laugh and sometimes cry and then we write write write!

Thank you for being here for Five Minute Friday!

Now: my words on

AFTER

I realized tonight yesterday was the six year anniversary of my brother John’s death.

Six years have passed since that time when it felt as if my life inverted itself and the version of me at my best disappeared for a while.

After John died, my Mom got cancer, my best friend in the world who I depended on for support disappeared, I lost my domain name and in effect, much of my business oh, and yes – my perfect brilliant son was diagnosed with autism and because of being in such a blinding whirlwind force of loss and loss and fear of more loss. I couldn’t. Do. It. Anymore.

Last week it felt like I was finally recovering. Six years after.

No, not last week. Yesterday. Last week I felt it building. Yesterday I had a very scary conversation from a completely unemotional space. I didn’t cry, I didn’t back peddle, I didn’t question my wisdom.

For whatever reason it is during Five Minute Fridays that I let go of whatever false pretenses I may kick up and am completely totally nakedly embarrassedly me.

Here’s what happened yesterday: I finally had an a-ha about freedom and what my life would be like on a moment-by-moment basis if I released myself from certain friendships. I have been so much more hermit-y lately, partially because I can feel the creative momentum building, the momentum of the sort I haven’t felt since before John died.

Yesterday, I started lifting the most important building bricks back to my old-new life where all that after stuff is still true, but the after me just continues to grow, continues to get stronger, continues to feel empowered enough to say “This is what is so” and is willing and able to live with the consequences.

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 A quick look at the guidelines from the gypsy mama - Lisa Jo Baker who is also our ringleader!

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

Oh and Ahem, if you would take pity and turn off comment verification, it would make leaving some love on your post that much easier for folks!



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Julie Jordan Scott has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam champion in Bakersfield.