(After Drinking) Are Tu Hi Mera Asli Bhai He!!!!

If you’ve ever been drunk or been around a drunk then I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “Are tu hi to mera asli bhai he!!!” This phrase is commonly used when a person is intoxicated and is in the company of humans, dogs, chairs or mice. Any living or non-living thing becomes the most beloved in front of a drunk who’s full of love. But then there are the depressed drunk ("Bhai girlfriend ne chod diya"). And equally menacing drunk ("Bhai lagi padi he charo taraf se"), the frustrated drunk ("Bhai shot hogaya he").
Yesterday My friend just got admission in some engineering college. He asked me a question, “Can i smoke ,drink and have engineering as a career?” Since I am also an Engineer, to his serious question, I said,” Are tu hi to mera asli bhai he...!!! Yes of course you can, why not? one is career and the other is hobby. so i don't see any problem. And waisebhi ajkal engineering colleges ke aju baju baki kuch nai hua to bhi tapri hoti hi he.”

Why do people drink? Are they a connoisseur? No, they probably cannot even spell it or even pronounce it correctly after getting drunk. Do they like the taste? Probably not, since they makes that weird face after every big gulp of the whisky that goes down his throat by saying,” Ahhh aj gala gila kiya he bhai ne !!!” Is it a cultural thing? Definitely not, in a religious country like India drinking is more or less considered to be sin. Although that does not deter even the most pious of followers who duly spill a cap full of Old Monk on the floor and dedicate it to Bhole Nath. And after 2-3 pegs bolenge, “ Bhai ke liye koi joshila gana baja.”The only reason we drink is to get drunk. That is the only reason why we heads to local bar after hard day saying,” BAR BAR din ye aye...BAR BAR me hum jaye.” and buys our favorite drink saying, “ Hamka pini he pini he hamka pini he.” When we get out of the bar having no sense and loosing all the sophistication, we say,” Ab ye sab mujhe SHOBHA nai deta, shobha se yad aya bhai ko SHOBHA dedo.”We always try to pretend that we have great stamina.“Bhai 17 pegs peene ke baad bhi main seedha khada tha banjo!”“Saale kabhi hamare saath baith ke piyo, hum sikhayenge kaise karte hain hold the drink.”“Dude I know this guy who’s like this tanker man. I mean I shit you not but he drank 11 bottles of beers in front of me and he was still fine.”Sadly, for the common Indian drunk, this specific culture is not particularly embraced by the common public here. In lands outside of India they drink wine when they eat, they consider scotch to be a religion, cops drop the drunks to their home safely and women probably don’t get raped all the time by tipsy men. The situation in India is quite the opposite. Drunks here are a nuisance. Drunks here are ‘over-friendly’ to the extent that they molest women to show their love. Drunks here are looked down upon even if they are good drunks and become happy high after a few drinks. Drunks are not welcome here.Our philosophy is simple. We drink to get high. We love to get drunk. We feel that it’s a waste if we drink and not feel out of our senses. That’s what our real thoughts are when it comes to drinking. And for some reason we’re quite cool with it and don’t see any reason to change.We, the average Indian drunks, don’t want to grow up. Even 10 years from now we want to pee in our pants, drunk dial, get in car crashes, hump street dogs, and wake up with no memory of the previous night whatsoever. That’s who we are. And that’s who we will be. Always. Proud.Before I end my blog i would like you to read a peom i found on internet  

Bewde Zameen par...!! 

Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin 

Bar main daily jaata Hoon Main Maa ... 
Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin 
Daru peekar roz aata hun Main Maa .... 
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata, Hain Na Maa... 
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata, Meri Maa... 
Theke pe Yun Na Chhoro Mujhe , 
Ghar Laut Ke Bhi Aa Naa Paoon Main Maa... 
Paua lene Bhej Na Itna Door Mujko Tu, 
Ghar bhi bhool jaun main Maa... 
Kya Itna Bura Hoon Main Maa... 
Kya Itna Bura Hoon Main ...Meri Maa.. 
Scotch main ,itna peeta nahi, 
Peg Se Seham Jaata Hoon Main Maa 
Chehre Pe Aane Deta Nahin 
Lekin kabhi ludak jaata Hoon Main Maa 
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata...Hai Naa Maa 
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata, Meri Maa ...Also a poem link for Engineers:-http://www.mit.edu/people/mrbonk/engineers.html