Diaries Magazine

An Open Letter To The Trolls....

Posted on the 30 May 2015 by Sparklesandstretchmarks @raine_fairy
An Open Letter To The Trolls....
To The Person Who Leaves Cruel Anonymous Comments On My Blog....
I guess some people might be of the opinion that when you put your life online for all to see, you're opening yourself up to the opinions of others.
I've been lucky with this blog so far - It's introduced me to some lovely people, people I talk to every day and consider to be real true friends - people who think in a similar way to myself, people who share the same interests as I do.
But recently I've experienced the down side more.
Lately there've been more & more nasty comments left, making snide remarks about this or that, poking fun at my abilities and what they perceive to be my lack of certain skills or talents, making comments about my choices on certain things, even making comments about my children - their names and so on.
An Open Letter To The Trolls....
I don't really understand it, myself.
Why would you continue to read something that you don't enjoy? If you don't like something or someone, why continue to expose yourself to it?
It's really very straight forward - if you don't like what you find here, go somewhere else.
An Open Letter To The Trolls....
I'm never cruel on this blog. Infact if anything I try my very best to use it to spread a positive vibe or to address issues that I feel are important and to try my best to help people who find themselves struggling with things that I've also faced such as anxiety and so on.
Whenever I receive e-mails from people who are suffering with these things or relate to other personal posts I've made, I go out of my way to respond with detailed, in depth replies that I put real time and effort into - I want to help if I can at all.
An Open Letter To The Trolls....
I'm not a horrible person.
I'm not a perfect person either - not by any stretch of the imagination, who is? - and I completely admit that I have my own bitchy moments when I make snap judgements about people, and sometimes of course there are people I just don't like or get on with - that's life, we can't all like everybody 100% of the time.
But do you know what the difference is? I would NEVER stoop so low as to leave an anonymous comment on somebodys blog just to be spiteful, to try and bring them down, to make them feel less than.
Why would I do that? Why would anyone do that?
As the old saying goes - if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.
You don't know how people are feeling. You don't know what struggles they're facing.
An Open Letter To The Trolls....
You might think you know somebody from their blog but the people behind them are real people with real feelings, and how do you know what else might be going on in their lives? 
Before you leave that comment so full of negativity & judgment...
How do you know that the cruel or thoughtless comment you leave - which to you might be something you don't give a second thought to, that you may tell yourself is "just being honest" or however you justify your nastiness to yourself so that you can sleep soundly at night - won't be the straw that broke the camels back?
How do you know that person isn't teetering on the edge and that one little comment is the last little shove they couldn't quite handle?
I believe that we should always be very very careful with our words - they cause more damage than we tend to give them credit for and once they're spoken they can't be taken back. 
When the damage is done, it's done.
I'm not in a great place emotionally at the moment as it happens - I'm struggling a bit, which is something I intended to write about this week actually - because as much as this blog is my happy place to share fun anecdotes of time spent with the kids, funny things Tyne has said, cute snaps of Noah and all of the fluffy stuff in life - it's also my safe place where I can talk about my feelings, my struggles, my anxieties, my worries.
I need to have that place.
So many times in the past this blog and its readers have helped me more than I could ever express, whether it be through practical tips and advice to handle the issues I was facing to just the moral support I've felt from your comments. It's been absolutely invaluable to me.
But finding that safe place invaded by negativity makes it feel like something else - it turns it into a place of worry, a place where I'm watching every word I type, second guessing every page view incase they're coming to look laugh and point instead of simply read and engage, clicking with trepidation on those "Comments awaiting moderation" incase what awaits me is more vitriol and heartlessness.
It's really made me think long and hard about whether it's worth while, and whether I'm a strong enough person right now to continue putting myself out there like this - so open to the harsh judgment and critique of others.
An Open Letter To The Trolls....
So I'll ponder on that a while longer I think, and I'll figure out how best to go forward -if forward is indeed the direction I decide to go in.
Perhaps it's as simple as disabling anonymous commenting - such a shame to have to do that, my mom loves commenting on this blog and she can only do so anonymously coz bless her she's no computer whizz - but if it stops that feeling of dread when I see comments waiting then maybe that's I'll need to do - because funnily enough these horrible comments never do have a name attached to them.
Oh no, they're always hidden behind that "anonymous" label.
Funny that.
Whatever I decide to do, the quotes in this post all apply and are all words I'm clinging to this weekend....
But I have one more, which is especially for you Dear Anonymous......
An Open Letter To The Trolls....
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