Sometimes these angels find us, if we're lucky, other times we are the ones to look for them and from what I've experienced they're tough birds to catch/find. I'm still not sure, really confused, if I ever met some, I think I did if I made it this far considering the many nights without any sleep and nightmares copying scenes from the "The Wrong Turn" movie. Once you meet them the sun shines brighter, the rivers run faster, birds sing louder and right at your window and they sing so beautiful that it doesn't make you want to smack them with a stone. I'd put a smile inhere but it would ruin the whole thing, it wouldn't be pleasant to eye anymore.
Most of my days pass, today's day is exactly as the previous one, only a lot more sadder, and tomorrow will sadder than today, not by much but enough for me to notice.
But .....
.... today was not the case. A miracle happened that made my heart ache less, that gave me hope in a hopeless place, that made me feel something else other than despair and pain.
The project I've been developing, called "Picture Touristic Moldova", has received its first major donation, and I'm basically speechless, I wanna find the words to express the intensity of my gratitude towards that person who took a chance on me and donated a huge amount of money, by my standards, when she herself is in need for help, I wanna find those words but I can't, there aren't such words, I can thank her only by being who I said I am, a kind person with a big heart and deep soul, who always helped others in need and felt good about it, never had regrets about helping others, even if what went around didn't necessarily came back around. I can thank her by being there for her by any means. I take my friendships very seriously, they're like marriages for me (well, except the sex part) I promise to be true to them in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love them with all my heart and honor them all the days of my life. But as marriages, not all friendships work, something snaps along the way.
Step by step, piece by piece every bit of hope has been fading away but it happened for this little angel to come into my life and pull me back, out of the rabbit hole. She got to know me, got to know my dream and she took a chance on me and I'm going to disappoint. Didn't think it was possible and yet it happened. I'm genuinely happy I got to meet her (online) a genuinely good person with whom I have a lot of things in common, some bad things that no one should have in common, and there some good things, like being happy for making others happy. I realized that most of the time, kind of a general rule, that only the people who have been through pain and hardships are the ones to help you, they understand you, they get that with their help you can grow wings and fly high and they will not take credit for that. They're amazing people and wish everybody to have such people in their lives, having them nothing seems so hard to get through, you can turn to them at all times, they will be there for you.
Another person who I really like and truly is an amazing example of what kindness and sharing is about is the one and only Ellen DeGeneres. Watching her show and how she interviews celebrities and simple people is amazing, she does more than that, she shares stories about people who are good to others in so many ways you can't even count that high.
In my angel's case, and in Ellen's case words are not enough so I'll let some of Ellen's videos speak for themselves.
She makes me smile, she makes me feel happy, immeasurably happy, I laugh like a crazy person, she makes me feel full of hope, that I still stand a chance at a great life far from pain and despair.She makes me feel amazing, she makes me appreciate myself more and give myself some credit for the things I've done, she makes me worth of good things and she makes me feel optimistic even if there are not many things to support that.
She brings light, she's also a walking angel among us and I feel proud of knowing her. She always finishes her show by saying "Be kind to one another", I paraphrased that and from time to time I finish my posts with "Be kind to one another and maybe you'll get to save a life". She inspires me, she inspires us. I love these people, I truly do, and I will always will. They give me power to fight, they give me hope of a better future, they make me believe in myself and they're not even here, they are doing all these amazing things from thousands of miles distances.
There are tons of thing I wanna sat, but they're not coming in the right order :) So I'll wrap up here. So ....
... Be kind to one another and maybe you'll get to save a life.
P.S. If I wrap my hands around myself I think I can feel some wings coming out of me, they're still small but there are definitely clear signs of them.