“There’s no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing.”
That’s what my dad used to say when he thought that someone
wasn’t properly kitted out for whatever activity they were embarking on. And,
as someone who loved being outside walking or cycling, he had years of
experience to draw on.
The point he was making was that it’s always, always worth
making the effort to put on the correct gear for the activity and weather at
hand. One layer could make the difference between misery and utter joy.
He wasn’t necessarily talking about extraordinarily
expensive or fancy clothing, just that it was up to the job and – crucially –
worn correctly for whatever was going on at that moment.
My sons roll their eyes whenever I say it to them, usually
following a conversation about the suitability of the skinny jeans, t-shirts, Crocs
or whatever they’re (badly) dressed in for dealing with the weather.
We live in Scotland where glorious warm sunny weather is so
rare that when it happens we all go round looking shocked and braced for the
inevitable storm that must break at any moment.
As well as psychotic weather patterns, Scotland also has
more than its fair share of outdoors – stunning, exhilarating and accessible
outdoors just ready to be walked, canoed, cycled, run, kayaked or simply sat
about in. If you are going to live in Scotland you’ll be wasting a huge
opportunity if you don’t enjoy as much of the outside as you possibly can, and
the only way to do that well is to understand how to clothe yourself properly.
Here are some things I’ve learned about not dressing like a
fool.
Don’t get wet.
It’s far easier to stay dry than to try to dry yourself out once you’ve got
soggy. Waterproof jackets – and trousers – (such as those made by Berghaus) on top of everything, zipped up are
the way to go. Don’t wait until a few drops of rain have turned into a deluge.
Alternatively, don’t
worry about getting wet, just don’t get cold. Yes, I know that’s the
opposite of what I just said, but sometimes keep dry is impossible. It’s the
wetsuit theory: a little trapped moisture will act as insulation.
Good layers aren’t
just about eggs. Lots of layers will trap air and make it easy to adjust
what you’re wearing for the weather/activity levels. So start with thermal
undergarments, then work through fleeces and soft shells. If you haven’t got
‘proper’ outdoor gear pick sports tops, thick tights etc.
Think like a duck (or
a sheep). You don’t see them shivering and whingeing about the cold, do
you? That’s why down or wool (particularly merino) are such excellent choices
when you want to win the cosiness stakes.
Look down. I’m
often amazed by people who have the snazziest jackets and cosiest of fleeces,
but then go out with nothing more than jeans or thin trousers on. Like
insulating the loft but leaving all the doors and windows open. Keep your legs
warm, fool.
Best foot forward.
Same idea, but for your feet. You can make yourself toasty everywhere else, but
if you haven’t got warm boots (or lots of socky layers) your feet will be cold
and you will be miserable and, therefore, a fool.
Don’t forget to
breathe. There’s a lot of weight given to the breathability (or otherwise)
of high-tech (AKA expensive) fabrics for rugged outdoor folk. The theory is
that if you do exercise while wearing something that doesn’t let water in – or
out – then you’ll get condensation building up and you’ll end up just as wet as
if you didn’t bother with the waterproof. I’ve found that when it’s pelting
down it can be quite hard to stay really dry whatever you do as moisture sneaks
up your sleeves and down your neck. In this case, resign yourself to sogginess
but focus on warmth.
Get ahead, get a hat.
And gloves. And a scarf. The thing is, you don’t have to wear them all the
time, but when the wind is biting it really does make a difference.
Cotton on. Cotton off, actually. Don’t
wear cotton – it’s horrible when it’s wet. It gets cold, heavy and it rubs.
Just don’t bother – instead choose man-made fabrics… apart from down or merino.
All that hoody will do is wick water from your head down over your body.
Foolish isn’t sexy.
Warm is, even if you need to wear long-johns and grannyish thermal underwear to
achieve it.
The bottom line.
If you park your backside on a cold damp rock and there is insufficient
insulation, your arse will get cold. This is foolish and will spoil your lunch
break. Sit on something warm. The best solution to this I heard of was to carry
an old (bum sized) mouse mat in your backpack!
And don’t save
sensible for the mountains. You often see outdoorsy types striding off to
bag a Munro in all the right gear, which is great. Only you can sometimes catch
the same folk shivering on the touchline at their kid’s football match cos they
haven’t bothered to dress properly. If you’ve got the gear, put it on.
So there you have it, my guide to not being a fool on the
hill (or anywhere else it’s cold and wet).
