It happened when I was 13. My brother and I had just moved in with my dad and stepmom and we were having a difficult time adjusting. It was a very difficult transition further complicated by the facts that we were 11 and 12 at the time of the move and our stepmother had never expected us to move in with them. She was young (not even 30 yet if memory serves) and only had one daughter of her own who was then only 6 or 7, I've forgotten at this point. Six months after we moved in with them, it was evident that things were not going smoothly.
I don't even remember what precipitated my ridiculous retaliation toward my step-mom. It was probably something stupid like her requiring that I shower at night instead of in the morning. Whatever it was, it surely did NOT warrant the revenge I sought on her that night.
I do remember feeling very strongly that I was in the right at the time and that I should exact some sort of revenge for whatever wrong had been done to my teenage self. I also remember for some reason being either allowed or required to shower in my dad & stepmom's bathroom.
I plotted.
I schemed.
What could I possibly do to make her "suffer" as much as she was making me suffer right at that very moment?
How could I make her understand exactly how angry I was?
Where was that soft spot I could hit her to make it sting?
Standing in the shower, I had an epiphany.
There sat her exorbitantly expensive bottle of Redken shampoo. It was only about 1/2 full. She loved that shampoo and fought my dad to still buy it even when the budget was tight.
I finished my shower, and got out. I opened the cabinet under the sink and took out the bottle. I reached back in the shower and grabbed the Redken shampoo and slowly started to ooze the other bottle into the narrow neck. I squeezed to make it go faster, replaced both caps, shook up the shampoo to mix it, and finished by rinsing and wiping the evidence away. I had done it. All there was to do was wait.
The next morning I awoke to a SCREAM from the opposite end of the house in the shower of their bathroom. Cha-ching (it was the 90s), I had DONE IT.
Alas, the scream was only one of anger. My intended result was not achieved. She'd smelled it as she lathered it up and rinsed it out right away. I was to be punished.
I got grounded for a month and was required to purchase a new bottle of shampoo with my own money. Naturally, my teenage mind did NOT think it fair, but in retrospect it really was. I mean, how would you punish a teenager who put Nair into your expensive bottle of shampoo?
I apologized begrudgingly to my stepmom, and the prank became legend among my friends. Regardless of the required apology and requisite punishment, I'm pretty sure my teenage self still won that battle in the end.
I'm pretty sure this kid is going to be the teenage nightmare revenge monster for all of my previous transgressions though.
