I was asked to do a job on Tuesday that involved putting new shutters on this woman’s house. On 2 of her windows, the shutters were old and falling off.
Fake shutters
I did the job like a good little blue collar dude, but folks, it annoyed me the whole time. The shutters that she bought and paid to have replaced are fake. She replaced fake shutters with more fake shutters. It’s like how hubcaps have no purpose but for looks — fake shutters also have no purpose but for looks, and that just bothers me. It’s a waste of money.
So what are fake shutters?
They’re plastic and they’re around peoples’ windows, but they’re immovable. Permanently stuck to the house. They do nothing but “look nice.”
Real shutters, on the other hand, are the kind that you can actually open and close.
And guess what, dudes? They have purpose! Hurricanes, tornadoes, big storms — real shutters protect your windows. And on those cold, winter days when you can feel a draft coming in from every crevice of your house? If you close your real shutters, they help make that draft not so bad.
No shutters
Now I know that for some people, you buy a house and fake shutters are already there. Seems dumb to pay to remove them, since they don’t do anything anyway. But I suggest that if those fake shutters are starting to fall apart, that you replace them with real shutters. Real shutters “look nice” too, and they serve the purpose of protecting your windows and stopping drafts!
Keep it real. Get real shutters.
