Lately, I’ve been asking God this question.
Pray? Yes I do. And not just upon waking up or before going to bed. I talk to Him whenever I get the chance. Read the bible? Yes with my “quiet time”. Go to church? If my work permits (as a nurse, I can’t expect no-work on a weekend).
I try all possible means for Him to see me, hear me. I know He does but He feels so far from me, or is it me that’s far from Him? I know He is not deaf not to hear me cry my heart out. He is not blind not to see my struggles. Nor His hands too short not to hold and hug me tight. Yet, at times I feel like He’s not there.
Things have been pretty rough for me this past few weeks. As I struggle with my family, work, relationship and everything; I try my best not to forget about Him. I always include Him in my daily walk. But now I feel like Job. I hope I emerge from this as victorious as he did.
A very dear friend once told me that in tough times and when everything seems wrong, continue to cry out to God. Wrestle and do not give up until He gives you an answer. May it be a YES, NO or MAYBE. But until when should I struggle?
I pray for my faith to stay strong even when everything is wrong. That I stay close to God even in tough times. And to trust Him more even when I’m hurting.