happy almost fourf of July.
I am SO excited to have a day off tomorrow. So excited. I think a day off during the week could cure any ailment I've got. What do you think? Four day work weeks? I think that would be a winner!
I am also SUPER excited for the first installment of Ask G&B. I had a feeling this would go well, and it has. I have chosen one question in particular and if you have any input about the situation, don't hesitate to leave a comment for our inquiring reader.
So, let's get started.
Hi Melissa.
How do I deal with the fact that my boyfriend wants to get married but not right now? I have had a timeline all my life about when things should happen and he seems to want to wait forever to get married. We can't live together before marriage either. I don't know what to do and we fight about it all the time.
Sincerely,
Lady in Waiting
Dear Lady in Waiting,
I completely understand where you're coming from. Listen, we as women want nothing more than our men to commit to us wholeheartedly. For us, that means marriage. Let's be truthful, fighting about the situation will not draw you closer together, but rather pull you apart. Preparing for marriage takes communication and cooperation. First, sit down together and talk about your concerns. There is a reason he's hesitating, find out what it is. Perhaps, there is more than one reason. Take into account his feelings and how they relate to his concerns. Then discuss what your concerns are about waiting, and why you can't any longer. Allow each other to speak without interruption. Maybe he's worried about finances, or the big changes that come with getting married. These are all valid concerns and everyone has them. Truthfully, he may not be ready. If he is not ready, and you are, then think about how long you are willing to wait. If it seems unrealistic for him, or for you, then evaluate the relationship and the potential for a future.
**On a personal note: I was in a relationship for five years. We had talked about getting married over and over, but he never wanted to commit. We even looked at rings several times. After five years, I didn't see the relationship moving forward so I ended it. One month later I met the man who would be my husband, and 3 months later we were married. The truth is, the timelines don't matter. What is meant to be, will be.
The final solution is up to you. You have the rest of your life to be married. The person who you marry matters more than when you get married, trust me!
What do you think? Should Lady in Waiting wait it out?
leave your comments below!
